Monday, May 10, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: fando y lis
**1/2 out of *****
Alejandro Jodorowsky's first film nearly got him killed…literally.
When it premiered at the Alcupulco Film Festival, it's grotesque sexual/religious imagery caused a full-scale riot. As the crowd went after him, Jodorowsky had to sneak out to a waiting limo. The crowd discovered it as it was driving him away and pelted it with rocks. A week later it opened in Mexico City to sold-out crowds…but again, riots ensued. Mexico banned the film and very nearly deported Jodorowsky back to his native Chile.
Amidst all of this nonsense, people also began thinking Jodorowsky was a vampire. Filmmaker Sergio Klainer began spreading the rumor, and it didn't help that the movie has a blood-drinking scene, or that actress Diana Mariscal (Lis) was anorexic, so she was abnormally thin in public appearances. The American release didn't do much better…15 minutes were cut from the film, and it was derided as a rip-off of Fellini or Bunuel. How Jodorowsky went from this to celebrated director of El Topo and The Holy Mountain is almost as amazing as how fast he fell in the mid 70s.
But enough history, how is the actual movie? Unfortunately, not great. Jodorowsky based it on memories of a play he once saw, and the entire script was apparently one page long. Like his later films, it tells the story of a surreal journey…this time Fando and Lis. Fando is an immature, selfish prick with a drum made of his dad's skin (!) and Lis is a paraplegic doormat with a phonograph player. They travel through a desolate, mountainous landscape looking for the lost city of Tar, where apparently all dreams can come true. They come across a motley of surreal, grotesque characters who seem more interested in debauchery than anything.
Then, every twenty minutes or so, Fando decides to mentally and physically abuse Lis, before ditching her to go off on his own (he usually comes crawling back). While it does have the weird, sometimes beautiful, imagery that Jodorowsky would become known for, it seems to be missing the depth of his later work. I liked a few scenes, like when Fando and Lis stumble upon a bunch of people waking up and floundering around in a mud pit. But none of the scenes added up to much of anything. I never got any sort of impression or introspection from what was onscreen.
And it's really hard to spend any time with the annoying main characters. Lis is at least an attractive lady, and loses her top here and there, but Fando is just a complete prick. There are several scenes of Fando doing things like dragging Lis across the stony ground by her dead legs while she screams in pain. It's unpleasant to watch, and the longer it goes, the more it focuses on the cruelty. I guess maybe that's the point, and maybe it's my own fault for not knowing what it's supposed to mean. But it's hard to watch something that seems to be cruel for cruelty's sake.
In the end, it's just a pretentious mess. Stick with his later work.
Alejandro Jodorowsky's first film nearly got him killed…literally.
When it premiered at the Alcupulco Film Festival, it's grotesque sexual/religious imagery caused a full-scale riot. As the crowd went after him, Jodorowsky had to sneak out to a waiting limo. The crowd discovered it as it was driving him away and pelted it with rocks. A week later it opened in Mexico City to sold-out crowds…but again, riots ensued. Mexico banned the film and very nearly deported Jodorowsky back to his native Chile.
Amidst all of this nonsense, people also began thinking Jodorowsky was a vampire. Filmmaker Sergio Klainer began spreading the rumor, and it didn't help that the movie has a blood-drinking scene, or that actress Diana Mariscal (Lis) was anorexic, so she was abnormally thin in public appearances. The American release didn't do much better…15 minutes were cut from the film, and it was derided as a rip-off of Fellini or Bunuel. How Jodorowsky went from this to celebrated director of El Topo and The Holy Mountain is almost as amazing as how fast he fell in the mid 70s.
But enough history, how is the actual movie? Unfortunately, not great. Jodorowsky based it on memories of a play he once saw, and the entire script was apparently one page long. Like his later films, it tells the story of a surreal journey…this time Fando and Lis. Fando is an immature, selfish prick with a drum made of his dad's skin (!) and Lis is a paraplegic doormat with a phonograph player. They travel through a desolate, mountainous landscape looking for the lost city of Tar, where apparently all dreams can come true. They come across a motley of surreal, grotesque characters who seem more interested in debauchery than anything.
Then, every twenty minutes or so, Fando decides to mentally and physically abuse Lis, before ditching her to go off on his own (he usually comes crawling back). While it does have the weird, sometimes beautiful, imagery that Jodorowsky would become known for, it seems to be missing the depth of his later work. I liked a few scenes, like when Fando and Lis stumble upon a bunch of people waking up and floundering around in a mud pit. But none of the scenes added up to much of anything. I never got any sort of impression or introspection from what was onscreen.
And it's really hard to spend any time with the annoying main characters. Lis is at least an attractive lady, and loses her top here and there, but Fando is just a complete prick. There are several scenes of Fando doing things like dragging Lis across the stony ground by her dead legs while she screams in pain. It's unpleasant to watch, and the longer it goes, the more it focuses on the cruelty. I guess maybe that's the point, and maybe it's my own fault for not knowing what it's supposed to mean. But it's hard to watch something that seems to be cruel for cruelty's sake.
In the end, it's just a pretentious mess. Stick with his later work.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
smoothie of champions
for a few years now, thanks to my old room mate sandra, i picked up the habit of making fruit smoothies for breakfast when i have the right ingredients around. a great smoothie for me includes kefir because it has calcium, active cultures and it's easier to control sugar intake with kefir rather than fruit juice. in my case, i prefer plain kefir because i like to limit my sugar intake but i don't always stick to plain when there are so many wonderful kefir flavours like blueberry, peach, strawberry, raspberry, vanilla, açai and pomegranate.
this morning, i made the best, most amazing smoothie of my life:
strawberry mango smoothie (for two)
one mango (i prefer the philippine mango variety)
8-10 small strawberries; or, 5-6 jumbo strawberries (just remember, the smaller, the more flavour)
2 bananas
4-5 ice cubes
1.5 cups of kefir. (i used blueberry!)
place everything in a blender and alternate between chop ice and puree. when everything's blended, pour into a glass and enjoy. it's a great way to get your calcium, fiber, tons of vitamin C and potassium. it takes less than five minutes to make. plus it's a great breakfast to tide you over until lunch.
this morning, i made the best, most amazing smoothie of my life:
strawberry mango smoothie (for two)
one mango (i prefer the philippine mango variety)
8-10 small strawberries; or, 5-6 jumbo strawberries (just remember, the smaller, the more flavour)
2 bananas
4-5 ice cubes
1.5 cups of kefir. (i used blueberry!)
place everything in a blender and alternate between chop ice and puree. when everything's blended, pour into a glass and enjoy. it's a great way to get your calcium, fiber, tons of vitamin C and potassium. it takes less than five minutes to make. plus it's a great breakfast to tide you over until lunch.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
flattery spam
I received this email this morning:
You were recently chosen as a potential candidate to represent your professional community in the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who.
We are please to inform you that your candidacy was formally approved April 15th, 2010. Congratulations.
The Publishing Committee selected you as a potential candidate based not only upon your current standing, but focusing as well on criteria from executive and professional directories, associations, and trade journals. Given your background, the Director believes your profile makes a fitting addition to our publication.
There is no fee nor obligation to be listed. As we are working off of secondary sources, we must receive verification from you that your profile is accurate. After receiving verification, we will validate your registry listing within seven business days.
Once finalized, your listing will share prominent registry space with thousands of fellow accomplished individuals across the globe, each representing accomplishment within their own geographical area.
To verify your profile and accept the candidacy, please visit here. Our registration deadline for this year's candidates is May 30th, 2010. To ensure you are included, we must receive your verification on or before this date. On behalf of our Committee I salute your achievement and welcome you to our association.
Sincerely,
MarkAnthony McGuiness
Chief Operations Officer
Presidential Who's Who
134 Rockaway Ave
Valley Stream, NY 11590, USA
my first thought, of course, was, umm, i'm awesome and all that but not a lot of people know it. so, all of you who know me know that while i've achieved some great things, i have not achieved feats worthy of being included in a Presidential Who's Who. so i did some research, only to find it's spam (not that this surprised me, i mean really, me? as a presidential who's who? i don't kiss THAT much ass, if any for that matter.).
i didn't click on the link to the site. instead, the first thing i did, like i always do, is go to google and start typing the name of the organization. google finished the job for me by suggesting i add scam to it. the search results are here and it's pretty funny to read some of these reviews of others who have received this email. i especially like that there are blogs out there dedicated to spam emails. i tell ya, there's always a good idea behind every shitty thing.
so you know, if you receive this weird, 'you've been approved to be included in the Presidential Who's Who' and you know haven't done anything remotely worthy of a nomination like that and they want your money, you've been warned.
You were recently chosen as a potential candidate to represent your professional community in the 2010 Edition of Presidential Who's Who.
We are please to inform you that your candidacy was formally approved April 15th, 2010. Congratulations.
The Publishing Committee selected you as a potential candidate based not only upon your current standing, but focusing as well on criteria from executive and professional directories, associations, and trade journals. Given your background, the Director believes your profile makes a fitting addition to our publication.
There is no fee nor obligation to be listed. As we are working off of secondary sources, we must receive verification from you that your profile is accurate. After receiving verification, we will validate your registry listing within seven business days.
Once finalized, your listing will share prominent registry space with thousands of fellow accomplished individuals across the globe, each representing accomplishment within their own geographical area.
To verify your profile and accept the candidacy, please visit here. Our registration deadline for this year's candidates is May 30th, 2010. To ensure you are included, we must receive your verification on or before this date. On behalf of our Committee I salute your achievement and welcome you to our association.
Sincerely,
MarkAnthony McGuiness
Chief Operations Officer
Presidential Who's Who
134 Rockaway Ave
Valley Stream, NY 11590, USA
my first thought, of course, was, umm, i'm awesome and all that but not a lot of people know it. so, all of you who know me know that while i've achieved some great things, i have not achieved feats worthy of being included in a Presidential Who's Who. so i did some research, only to find it's spam (not that this surprised me, i mean really, me? as a presidential who's who? i don't kiss THAT much ass, if any for that matter.).
i didn't click on the link to the site. instead, the first thing i did, like i always do, is go to google and start typing the name of the organization. google finished the job for me by suggesting i add scam to it. the search results are here and it's pretty funny to read some of these reviews of others who have received this email. i especially like that there are blogs out there dedicated to spam emails. i tell ya, there's always a good idea behind every shitty thing.
so you know, if you receive this weird, 'you've been approved to be included in the Presidential Who's Who' and you know haven't done anything remotely worthy of a nomination like that and they want your money, you've been warned.
Friday, April 9, 2010
A Day in the Life
8:30 check-in
Willie had a good day yesterday.
He's never said this before.
Donna is trying to wake up,
Phil is going to go last,
Marvin knows it's going to take time to get better.
9:00
He's had chronic skin conditions for 20 years,
no diagnosis,
only pain and shame and fear.
I offer a medicine that just might help,
I let him know it might not do anything at all,
but maybe,
just maybe.
10:45
Pictionary,
everyone's laughing,
having fun.
11:30
A discussion of benzodiazepines,
Tim's new,
asks afterwards if he can use them
to treat his alcohol withdrawal symptoms.
Yes, definitely,
let's talk more about this tomorrow.
1:00
Sharon's friend died yesterday.
Last month I did not know how it felt
to lose someone close to you.
Today I feel able to relate
to her sadness.
2:00
Baking avocado cupcakes,
Dennis makes a funny, appropriate joke
that I will later repeat
to several colleagues.
He also recounts the premise
of "Family Affair" in great detail.
I'm the only one who knows
what the hell he's talking about.
Mrs. Beasley, Buffy, Jody.
I was a Brady Bunch girl myself,
but I'm picking up
what he's putting down.
3:45
Meet the new social worker.
She's cool.
4:15
Check out potential dog friends
with Stacy.
I like Yashi, who looks like she's posing
for her high school yearbook.
4:45
Hit the road, endure the traffic,
turn off NPR because they're talking
about people being killed
and killing other people.
Listen to music,
I don't remember which songs.
Willie had a good day yesterday.
He's never said this before.
Donna is trying to wake up,
Phil is going to go last,
Marvin knows it's going to take time to get better.
9:00
He's had chronic skin conditions for 20 years,
no diagnosis,
only pain and shame and fear.
I offer a medicine that just might help,
I let him know it might not do anything at all,
but maybe,
just maybe.
10:45
Pictionary,
everyone's laughing,
having fun.
11:30
A discussion of benzodiazepines,
Tim's new,
asks afterwards if he can use them
to treat his alcohol withdrawal symptoms.
Yes, definitely,
let's talk more about this tomorrow.
1:00
Sharon's friend died yesterday.
Last month I did not know how it felt
to lose someone close to you.
Today I feel able to relate
to her sadness.
2:00
Baking avocado cupcakes,
Dennis makes a funny, appropriate joke
that I will later repeat
to several colleagues.
He also recounts the premise
of "Family Affair" in great detail.
I'm the only one who knows
what the hell he's talking about.
Mrs. Beasley, Buffy, Jody.
I was a Brady Bunch girl myself,
but I'm picking up
what he's putting down.
3:45
Meet the new social worker.
She's cool.
4:15
Check out potential dog friends
with Stacy.
I like Yashi, who looks like she's posing
for her high school yearbook.
4:45
Hit the road, endure the traffic,
turn off NPR because they're talking
about people being killed
and killing other people.
Listen to music,
I don't remember which songs.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
An Ypsilanti Sunday
I visited Julie this weekend, and I was totally charmed by her two kittens, Alex & Freddie. They awakened the Cat Lady inside me that's lain dormant for 38 years. Here's how....
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Ever Wonderful
Theron, when I think of you,
I will think of the star ring
that you bought at The Alley
on Christmas Day four years ago,
of Earth, Wind & Fire,
which you played when Aisha was born.
I will think of peppermint tea
with five packets of raw sugar
and a straw,
of being with you in the ER,
of the time you told me you were starting
to see a face in the picture hanging
outside your hospital room door,
and my seeing it too,
the way the wrinkles in a soldier’s pant leg
made the outline of two eyes, a nose, a mouth.
I will think of the first time I met you
and the last time I saw you,
of the sadness I felt
when I learned that you were gone.
I will remember walking your path with you.
And I will remember you
walking my path with me.
Friday, February 26, 2010
drank, the phenomenon of branding pseudo-drug culture
so i was reading the rolling stone issue with lil' wayne on the cover, reading about how weezy constantly quaffs down drank. the article goes into detail about what exactly makes up drank (promethazine-codeine cough syrup with 7up! IN. SANE.) and i think, wow, that's just... a great way to kill your brain cells and body REALLY fast.
the next day, serendipity makes it so i come across an ad for drank, the extreme relaxation beverage. it's a relaxation beverage, counter to energy drinks. made with valerian root, rosehips and some other natural herb to help calm frayed nerves, it's branded as being LIKE lil' wayne's drank but all natural. their slogan: slow your roll! i laughed at the sheer inanity of it all and ponder the effects of this pseudo-drug culture.
the VERY NEXT day, i'm hosting at mary's and the phone rings. it's a young woman asking if we have something called drank, she says it's purple. i reply, uh, do you mean the slow your roll drank or lil' wayne's drank? she says, uh... lil' wayne's drank? i giggle and say, no, it would be illegal for us to serve that kinda drank, baby girl. she then asks why it's illegal. i reply, well, either way, we don't carry it here, sorry.
i don't think she KNEW that drank and lil' wayne's drank are two completely different beasts.
by the way, this drinking of cough syrup to get a buzz isn't new. i remember my senior year in college, to robo, aka drinking a whole bottle of robotussin to get high, was the new hot drug (next to crank, later to become known as meth. it was the cheerleaders, ironically, who were doing the crank. i remember being taken aback with surprise that the cheerleaders were into speed. looking back on it, it makes perfect sense. i mean, how else do you settle for cottage cheese and lettuce for every meal otherwise?).
robo-ing was something that some jocks from california used to indulge in. i remember thinking that was probably the stupidest thing in the world to do. i mean, why not just NOT get high then?
also, i was an R.A. in college. R.A.'s always know what's going on behind those closed doors with towels at the bottom of the door. TRUST.
the next day, serendipity makes it so i come across an ad for drank, the extreme relaxation beverage. it's a relaxation beverage, counter to energy drinks. made with valerian root, rosehips and some other natural herb to help calm frayed nerves, it's branded as being LIKE lil' wayne's drank but all natural. their slogan: slow your roll! i laughed at the sheer inanity of it all and ponder the effects of this pseudo-drug culture.
the VERY NEXT day, i'm hosting at mary's and the phone rings. it's a young woman asking if we have something called drank, she says it's purple. i reply, uh, do you mean the slow your roll drank or lil' wayne's drank? she says, uh... lil' wayne's drank? i giggle and say, no, it would be illegal for us to serve that kinda drank, baby girl. she then asks why it's illegal. i reply, well, either way, we don't carry it here, sorry.
i don't think she KNEW that drank and lil' wayne's drank are two completely different beasts.
by the way, this drinking of cough syrup to get a buzz isn't new. i remember my senior year in college, to robo, aka drinking a whole bottle of robotussin to get high, was the new hot drug (next to crank, later to become known as meth. it was the cheerleaders, ironically, who were doing the crank. i remember being taken aback with surprise that the cheerleaders were into speed. looking back on it, it makes perfect sense. i mean, how else do you settle for cottage cheese and lettuce for every meal otherwise?).
robo-ing was something that some jocks from california used to indulge in. i remember thinking that was probably the stupidest thing in the world to do. i mean, why not just NOT get high then?
also, i was an R.A. in college. R.A.'s always know what's going on behind those closed doors with towels at the bottom of the door. TRUST.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: cloudy with a chance of meatballs
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs- **** out of *****
3-D CGI cartoons are pretty much a dime a dozen, and most blow. Studios are busy cranking out the kind of cheap, lackluster children's fare that brought Disney to its knees in the early 2000s. But no one is really learning the lessons of Disney's blah animation section. Rather than focus on original, envelope-pushing entertainment a la Pixar, most studios are perfectly happy cranking out cruddy sequels to mediocre originals. Ooo, more Shrek! Another Ice Age! Hood winked 2? For real? Did anyone actually see Hoodwinked 1? Are we destined for another goddamned Shark Tale now?!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs has a slightly different pedigree. It's based on the bestselling children's book and already has a legion of fans…luckily, Hollywood doesn’t mess it up too bad. Flint Lockwood is an inventor whose inventions cause more harm than good. He's trying to perfect a machine that turns water into food to help his struggling community. But it backfires, destroying the town's new sardine-themed amusement park and causing trouble for low-rent news lady Sam Sparks. But then the machine starts working, pulling moisture from the air and blanketing the town with storms of food. Flint finally receives the recognition he deserves, but as the machine begins to get a mind of its own, he realizes that the respect of his father and Sam means way more than the blind adoration of an entire town.
Well, it's a kid's movie, did you think there wouldn't be a lesson?
In terms of animation, it's near perfect. Sony seems to have figured out what Dreamworks learned with Kung Fu Panda…be as good as Pixar. They also make great use of the 3-D. Now, I didn't actually see this in 3-D, but even in 2-D I could see how much fun it would've been. Especially in the end, where food is flying around willy-nilly.
The story is highly imaginative, making the best out of the plot and even answering some of the questions rattling in my head (like how do they clean up after a hamburger storm?). The voice actors aren't the usual big name stars...there's nothing that pulls you out of an animated movie faster than a lion talking like Jack Bauer. "Mr. President, if we don't escape the zoo NOW, the terrorists will set off the nuclear bomb and unleash the deadly gas! DAMMIT!!" By casting people like Bill Hader and Anna Faris, we get solid voice actors without spending half the movie trying to figure out who they are. I didn't even recognize James Caan as the hilariously-animated father to Flint (I thought it was Ray Winstone). I also didn't recognize Andy Samberg or Bruce Campbell. The one everyone will know is Mr. T as the local tough-guy cop, but it's hard to disagree any time someone casts Mr. T.
But there is one problem with the movie…it tends to go over the top on emotional and action scenes. By the time we get to the end of the movie, we've seen Flint take so much crap from everyone that you wind up thinking, "Christ, does the movie want me to cry AGAIN?" The action scenes, especially the end, suffer from too many complications, and winds up just dragging on forever. I'm sure this is more to show off the 3-D technology, since the end all takes place in a gigantic floating food ball, but it starts to weigh the 2-D version down.
Still, it's not enough to sink the movie…there's enough charm and imagination to get you through the hiccups. The other studios haven't quite figured out how to make animated films like Pixar, but this shows they are trying. For a place as conventional as Hollywood, it gives me hope.
3-D CGI cartoons are pretty much a dime a dozen, and most blow. Studios are busy cranking out the kind of cheap, lackluster children's fare that brought Disney to its knees in the early 2000s. But no one is really learning the lessons of Disney's blah animation section. Rather than focus on original, envelope-pushing entertainment a la Pixar, most studios are perfectly happy cranking out cruddy sequels to mediocre originals. Ooo, more Shrek! Another Ice Age! Hood winked 2? For real? Did anyone actually see Hoodwinked 1? Are we destined for another goddamned Shark Tale now?!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs has a slightly different pedigree. It's based on the bestselling children's book and already has a legion of fans…luckily, Hollywood doesn’t mess it up too bad. Flint Lockwood is an inventor whose inventions cause more harm than good. He's trying to perfect a machine that turns water into food to help his struggling community. But it backfires, destroying the town's new sardine-themed amusement park and causing trouble for low-rent news lady Sam Sparks. But then the machine starts working, pulling moisture from the air and blanketing the town with storms of food. Flint finally receives the recognition he deserves, but as the machine begins to get a mind of its own, he realizes that the respect of his father and Sam means way more than the blind adoration of an entire town.
Well, it's a kid's movie, did you think there wouldn't be a lesson?
In terms of animation, it's near perfect. Sony seems to have figured out what Dreamworks learned with Kung Fu Panda…be as good as Pixar. They also make great use of the 3-D. Now, I didn't actually see this in 3-D, but even in 2-D I could see how much fun it would've been. Especially in the end, where food is flying around willy-nilly.
The story is highly imaginative, making the best out of the plot and even answering some of the questions rattling in my head (like how do they clean up after a hamburger storm?). The voice actors aren't the usual big name stars...there's nothing that pulls you out of an animated movie faster than a lion talking like Jack Bauer. "Mr. President, if we don't escape the zoo NOW, the terrorists will set off the nuclear bomb and unleash the deadly gas! DAMMIT!!" By casting people like Bill Hader and Anna Faris, we get solid voice actors without spending half the movie trying to figure out who they are. I didn't even recognize James Caan as the hilariously-animated father to Flint (I thought it was Ray Winstone). I also didn't recognize Andy Samberg or Bruce Campbell. The one everyone will know is Mr. T as the local tough-guy cop, but it's hard to disagree any time someone casts Mr. T.
But there is one problem with the movie…it tends to go over the top on emotional and action scenes. By the time we get to the end of the movie, we've seen Flint take so much crap from everyone that you wind up thinking, "Christ, does the movie want me to cry AGAIN?" The action scenes, especially the end, suffer from too many complications, and winds up just dragging on forever. I'm sure this is more to show off the 3-D technology, since the end all takes place in a gigantic floating food ball, but it starts to weigh the 2-D version down.
Still, it's not enough to sink the movie…there's enough charm and imagination to get you through the hiccups. The other studios haven't quite figured out how to make animated films like Pixar, but this shows they are trying. For a place as conventional as Hollywood, it gives me hope.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
