***1/2 out *****
The second Mesrine film is a step down from the original. The first one crammed about 10-12 years into two hours, this once only has to cram about 6 or 7, but still manages to feel slow and chuggy.
Mesrine, fresh from his criminal adventures in Canada, has returned to France and begun robbing banks with gusto. Although, if you're looking for action, you're in the wrong place. We see maybe one bank robbery in this one. Mesrine's ego has grown with his legend, and he now thinks of himself as someone who robs from the rich and gives to himself. It's like crossing Gordon Gekko with Robin Hood. He sees himself as a revolutionary, bringing down the French establishment.
But the French establishment has something for him…bullets! Hey, it worked for Bonnie and Clyde… This film is filled with more French character actors (well, that I recognized anyway). Samuel LiBehan (Brotherhood of the Wolf, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not), Mathieu Almaric (Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Quantum of Solace) and Ludivine Sagnier (Swimming Pool, Paris, je t'aime) all show up at varying times as partners of Mesrine. There's also a cameo by Georges Wilson, who I don't particularly know, but is a big deal in France I'm told. They're not given a whole lot to do, though, and tend to disappear unceremoniously when the movie is through with them.
We never really delve into Mesrine's ego, just see him flaunt it (although there is an interesting scene where a real revolutionary shoots down his fight-the-power dreams). There's also a fun scene where Wilson manages to beat Mesrine at his own game. Cassell is still great, and carries the movie almost single-handedly, but here Mesrine is static. He's still charming and psychotic, but he's not as interesting.
The protracted climax basically replays the entire opening credits of the first film. It's a bad choice…they could've built some real suspense here, but it's deadened by us already knowing what the end result is. We also don't get much in the way of the controversy surrounding the French police ruthlessly gunning Mesrine down in broad daylight (no, I'm not giving away the end…we know this happens from the credits of the first film). It also more unfocused, sometimes making Mesrine the focal point, sometimes focusing on the cops hunting him. But there's never a sense of the cat-and-mouse game between the two.
It doesn't ruin the first one, and it's not a bad movie, but like Soderbergh's Che, the second half doesn't quite equal up to the first. Still, I'd recommend seeing Mesrine's saga.
Showing posts with label brandon the movie nerd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brandon the movie nerd. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd! mesrine: killer instinct
**** out of *****
Jacques Mesrine (pronounced May-reen, or May-reign, or even sometimes, May-reign-uh) was a real-life French criminal who was sort of a cross between John Dillinger and Goodfellas. His sordid life was made into two movies in 2008 (or 07 and 08, depending on your online sources). The first film details his rise to becoming France's public enemy number one.
It starts with his release from the army, where he discovered a taste for brutality while torturing the rebellious Algerians (pretty ironic/hypocritical, considering how he fancied himself a rebel later on). He returns to France, and quickly hooks up with gangster Gerard Depardieu, rising through the ranks of Depardieu's small mob and eventually striking out on his own as a kidnapper and bank robber in both France, Canada, and even escaping to the U.S. once (although he was apparently apprehended in Arkansas, not Arizona as the movie depicts).
As Mesrine, Vincent Cassell is simply brilliant. He's got the perfect amount of charm and violence needed to show why this character is both magnetic and horrifying. The film remains neutral on Mesrine, showing us his life instead of making a judgment. We see the fun, party aspect of his life with girls and money, and we also see his sense of honor and loyalty (like when he tries to go straight...he accepts being laid off, and doesn't blame his boss).
But we also see the horrific violence he inflicts, and the crazy anger hiding just beneath his eyes. This is a guy who one minutes loves his wife and the next minute shoves a gun in her mouth. But we also can see why…the boss was not disrespecting him, just doing what needed to be done. A wife trying to hold him back from his own desires…to him, that's disrespect.
Director Jean-Francois Richet has a good grasp of American crime sagas, and does this in the grand seventies tradition of something like The Godfather, Serpico, or GoodFellas (yes, I know GoodFellas isn't from the seventies, but it's also in that same style). It bounces along, giving us glimpses into his life at different times. This can sometimes work against the film, as we sometimes don't really get to know the people orbiting him. But Richet does a good job with the passing of time. He shows us things that we know take a certain amount of time: babies being born, jail sentences, etc. And even though he sometimes skips action we think we'd like to see, he spares us one more bank robbery in order to prime us for the stunning (and amazingly off-the-cuff) jailbreak scene toward the end.
It can be choppy sometimes, but it works in that 70s way, and gives us a full portrait of one man's slow descent into crime. Definitely worth seeing, especially for fans of crime movies.
Monday, September 13, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: the losers
*** out of *****
I've never read the comic book this is based on, but it's apparently got its fans, so I assume it's gotta be better than this thing. It opens they way all action-comedies should open…with the murder of 25 innocent children. At this rate, we'll be seeing 9/11 movies starring The Rock and some cutsy kid.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (the Robert Downey, Jr.-looking guy from Watchmen) is the leader of an A-Team-like band of military specialists. They, much like the A-Team, are great soldiers with all sorts of wisecracks, and run afoul of a bad guy G-Man (Jason Patric) who attempts to kill them and kills the aforementioned 25 children instead. Our team of lovable losers must nut up and get back to America with the help of a truly awful Zoe Saldana and even the score with Patric. Too bad we've seen it all before, and much better.
It really does feel like a long episode of The A-Team, where everything goes 1) plot point 2) one-liners 3) action 4) one-liners 5) repeat. But the action is fairly typical and the plot is so unmemorable that it's hard to remember why anyone is actually doing any of these things. Most of the "clever one-liners" aren't near as clever as the screenwriters think they are, although a few work here and there. The best one is probably "I'm the black MacGuyver! Blaguyver!" But I only say that because it's the only one I bothered to remember, and that might be more because it was in all the previews.
To their credit, Morgan and the underrated Chris Evans do the best they can with the weak material, and even manage to make it work here and there. Idris Elba is utterly wasted in his role. I barely remember the other guys on the team. The best performance though belongs to Patric, who seems to be channeling Nicolas Cage at his Bad Lieutenanty best. He twitches and preens and generally looks like he knows it's a shitty movie so he's going to be as ridiculous as possible to teach someone a lesson. I'm not sure who learned anything, but I had a blast watching him.
I want to make a special point to discuss Zoe Saldana, who's the latest "it girl." She sucks pretty fucking hard. Watching her in this movie was like being the guy at the end of Audition getting needles shoved into your eyelids. She's got that Angelina Jolie problem of being way too damn skinny to be tough or fearsome in any way, and her attempts at being a badass chick just made me wonder how any of her costars could take her seriously.
I suppose the good and bad kinda cancel each other out, and just make the movie sort of forgettable instead of painful. Maybe something for nondiscriminating action fans. Everyone else can just watch some old A-Team episodes.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Lost Questions, as answered by Brandon the Movie Nerd
our resident geekologist, LOSTie and total movie nerd, brandon, came across some websites listing questions they say Lost HAS to answer. he felt compelled and qualified to opine.
read on:
10 Questions Lost Needs to Answer
(posted May 18th on Jezebel, before "What They Died For")
1.) Charles Widmore
There are so many mysteries surrounding Charles Widmore, and I'm certain that not all of them will be cleared up, but we need something more. Like, how did he and Eloise come to live on the Island? Who is Penny's mother? Why didn't he have anything to do with raising his son, Daniel Faraday?
I'm not sure I need to know exactly how Widmore and Eloise got to the island…probably the same way everyone else did, by "accident," or offered the job by Jacob (like Dogen). I'm also not concerned with Penny's mother, we were told that Widmore left the island and carried out an affair with an off-island woman. Good enough for me, and enough to explain why he and Eloise aren't together (and why he didn't raise Faraday).
2.) Fertility
Lost fans—or at least I—will be livid if the issue of the Island's fertility problem is not addressed by the end of the finale. At some point, either right before or right after the purge of the DHARMA folk, women were able to conceive, but not give birth, on the Island. Or they were able to give birth, but not conceive on the Island. We need to know why!
This might be a little grating, but I can live with it. My guess is it's the downside to the island's healing factor. Or maybe that since it contains The Source, there can't be people to be creating populations there.
3.) The Statue
Connected to the fertility issue is the statue of Taweret, who is the Egyptian goddess of childbirth and fertility. Who built it?
Um. I would guess Egyptians. There have been several obvious hints that Egyptians once inhabited the island, and if childbirth is impossible, I could see primitive people building a large statue to a fertility goddess. Although who knows…Ethan was born on the island, and we assume conceived there…although we don't know for sure.
4.) Infection
According to the dirty Temple hippies, Sayid and Claire are "infected." Rousseau talked about how the science team also got infected. What the hell does that mean, how does it happen, and is this just a red herring?
It may never have been explained fully, but the infection is the "corruption" that happens when you begin to turn to Blackie's side. Sayid and Claire both had it (and were put through The Others' test), and Rousseau's team was infected after heading down under the temple to Blackie's lair. A bigger question…why does Blackie have a lair under a temple he can't enter, and why were there Egyptian carving of him when he wasn't created until long after Egyptian times? Was there perhaps a previous Smokie?
5.) Sideways Universe
How did it come to be? Will it ever converge with the original timeline? What does it all mean!!?!?!?
Through the explosion of Jughead, I'm guessing, and I believe the finale will answer this question.
6.) Island Under Water
In the first few minutes of this season, we saw that, in the sideways universe, the Island is submerged underwater. How did that happen? What happened to the DHARMA people who had been there? What is the significance of its destruction?
Again, I'm sure we'll see this in the finale. My guess is something to do with the hinted-at volcano on the island (the writers hinted that there will be an important explosion in the finale). But maybe Dharma digs too far and accidentally discharges the Source?
7.) Desmond
A relationship with electromagnetic energy probably has something to do with his importance to what is currently happening on the Island, but why does Mocke (Blackie) want him dead? What is Widmore's planning to do with him? Will he ever see Penny again?
Some of this was answered Tuesday…the rest in the finale.
8.) Eloise Hawking
Much like the mysteries surrounding Widmore, we need to know a little bit more about Eloise Hawking. How did she come to live on the Island? When and why did she leave? Why doesn't she have the same last name as her son? Why did she spend so much time in her science sorcery dungeon under the church devising a way for the Losties to return to the Island, but didn't want to go back herself?
Most of this is unimportant, or can be figured out contextually. We don't NEED to know how she came to the island. We know she left before Widmore, and they had a falling out (perhaps due to his affair). She could have a different last name because she remarried. And the Lamp Post was there before Eloise left the island…it was how Dharma found the island in the first place. She probably didn’t go back because she knew it was up to the candidates to do the work (she was always a little more in tune with fate).
9.) Jacob's Army
Jacob had apparently set up an army—Bram, Ilana, etc.—of bodyguards who spent their lives training for whatever war that was going to happen. How did he do this? Why? How did he chose Ilana? What's her deal anyway? Why were none of these army people "candidates"?
Yeah, okay, I agree with this one, but I fear we may not get an answer.
10.) MIB's Name
We know we will get it…in an interview, Hurley said he didn't want to say anything because it's a "cool reveal."
TEN QUESTIONS TO LET GO
1.) Walt
I think we should just give up any hope of knowing why Walt is "special," why he has creepy powers, and how and why he appeared to Shannon and Locke on the Island after he'd already left. That kid pubed too hard and fast for them to ever really include him in any more central story lines.
I really hope they deal with the emphasis on Walt the first three seasons, but I too have a feeling we won't get it.
2.) Vincent
Did he time travel to 2007 after Juliet activated the atomic bomb? I don't know if we'll ever see him again, but I'm thinking that we might just have to think of him as being safe and sound somewhere, at some time.
3.) Rose and Bernard
They were with Vincent, so whatever happened to him, probably happened to them. But honestly, I don't care for them, because they annoy me and I find Rose to be an asshole.
Personally, I think these story lines are done. They retired. I bet they did time travel to 2007, but just stayed out of it. Who knows, maybe they'll become the foundation for the new Others working under Jack.
4.) Desmond & Penny Photo
Why did Naomi have it in her backpack when she parachuted on to the Island? How the hell did she get a copy of it? I think we have to just forget that ever happened.
Um…she was working for Widmore. She probably was given the photo to see if Desmond was indeed on the island.
5.) Ethan
How did he join up with the Others? Was he partially responsible for the Purge of the DHARMA people? How did he become a doctor? We'll probably never know.
I'm not sure it matters.
6.) Karl
Remember him? He was Alex's 16-year-old boyfriend. If there were fertility issues on the Island, where did he come from? He's certainly not one of the DHARMA people, given his age. Oh well.
Why do we need answers about Karl? Did anyone even like him anyway? He probably wound up on the island the same way Alex did.
7.) Food Drops
Who orchestrated the food drops to the Hatch? Did the Others have a helicopter? That one, I'm sure, will remain a mystery forever.
I would like to know this one. The writers did say this will be answered this season. Here's hoping they weren't lying...
8.) Black Rock Journal
How did the journal of the first mate of the Black Rock get off the Island for Widmore to purchase it at an auction many years later.
Hmm. Good question, but yeah, I don't think we'll ever know.
9.) Christian Shepherd
Beyond being a vessel for MIB, what was Christian Shepherd's deal? Why was his body never discovered, when MIB didn't need Locke's original body to take his form?
Ditto. But, then again, explaining where Christian's body is isn't all that important to the show. Maybe it landed in a cave somewhere. Or maybe Blackie hid it so it couldn't be buried, thus trapping him in Christian's body.
10.) Why Them?
Why, specifically, were these people chosen over all others to be candidates? I think we're just going to have to accept that—beyond being "lost" people—they were just chosen by a casting director.
Jacob explained…kinda. It might not be much, but it's probably all we'll get.
50 Questions Lost Really Does Need To Answer -
(posted May 18th, 2010 on io9.com)
So the island is the place with the glowy light that's inside all of us. Does this mean the Island's alive? People talk about what the island "wants." What do they mean? Is the island Eywa?
For those who didn't see Avatar, Eywa is the "earth spirit," like Gaia. I'm not sure we need these explanations…sometimes things are better left open-ended, and I'm not sure they could explain this one away without being really disappointing (plus, it gives Lost nerds something to argue about for years until Lost is remade as a bad movie/TV show). I don't think the island is alive as much as it's a source of life. But, then again, how does it seem to speak to people?
How come the island heals people? Why does it heal them selectively?
Good question. And another pointing to the island having some sort of "life," or at least thought process.
Who was the woman who raised Jacob and the Man In Black, and how did she get there?
I would like to know more, but I'm not sure we'll get it. We can infer she's Egyptian, I suppose, and probably was shipwrecked. Although an Egyptian shipwreck in the Pacific is even less plausible than a Roman one…but hey, I suppose Polynesians must've sailed to Hawaii, and America, in primitive times…
If Jacob was a Roman, why is he so into Egyptian gods?
I think it was people before him
What was with those Egyptian symbols that appeared in the Hatch when the countdown went past 108 minutes? That didn't seem like the Dharma Initiative's style.
True. It was probably just for effect. Seriously, the first time I saw the symbols, I freaked a little.
Jacob told Alpert some previous visitors to the island had built that Taweret statue. Did he tell them to build it? Why Taweret?
Um, fertility goddess. Can’t have babies on the island. Think about it… The only issues I have with that explanation was that Ethan was born on the island…but again, was he conceived there? Maybe Horace and Amy took a trip back to Ann Arbor and got it on? The issue seemed to stem from conception, as Claire conceived off-island and gave birth no problem. I'm personally more interested in whatever happened to Horace's first wife.
Is Jacob bringing people to the island, as the Man In Black suggests? If so, then who was bringing all those people to the island before Jacob did it? Why does Jacob want to bring so many people to the island? What was he trying to prove to the Man In Black?
Most of these questions have been answered. Jacob brought people for two reasons…to prove to Blackie that they weren't all bad (as well as for "progress"), and to find a replacement. As to who did it before Jacob…maybe the island itself. Or maybe anyone who wound up there did it by accident.
Why did Widmore bring Desmond to the island? What's the sacrifice Desmond has to make?
This was posted prior to What They Died For, so this one was answered…for the most part.
Why was Charlie fated to die, exactly? What did Charlie's death accomplish, in the end?
I think Charlie was needed to figure out the code in the communications room on the underwater hatch. He was the only one who could do it, since he was a musician. Once he served his purpose, there was no reason for him to live anymore.
Was that the Smoke Monster telling Ben and Locke to move the island, back in season four? If so, why did Smokey want the island moved? What did moving the island accomplish exactly?
It got Locke off the island where Ben could kill him. Although, since Smokie (as Christian) chided him for letting Ben do it first, I wonder if Ben was always part of the equation. Another reason…to hide it from Widmore, since Widmore had figured out the coordinates. I think Smokie didn't want Widmore coming back because he knew Widmore, as a former Other, would be against him.
Why was Libby in the same mental hospital as Hurley? What's her deal exactly? Why was she in Australia?
Yeah…I don't think we know all we'll ever know about Libby's original timeline breakdown. Let's assume it's something similar to her reasons in the sideways timeline. As to why she was in Australia, does it matter?
Why did the Smoke Monster kill Mr. Eko? Why did the Smoke Monster leave Rousseau alive after killing or "claiming" the rest of her expedition?
Well, the real reason was Mr. Eko wanted off the show. But in the story, I think it was because he refused to "repent" for his misdeeds. I think Smokie saw him as a good choice for killing Jacob, but he refused to join Smokie, so he was no longer necessary. He even said that Smokie was coming for the rest of the people who journeyed out to the Question Mark Hatch, maybe because Smokie wanted all the candidates dead?
Who made the Rules? Like, what's preventing Smokey from killing the Candidates directly?
Yeah, I'd like to know this too. Or at least get a few hints dropped.
What was so special about Walt? No, really. They made a big deal out of it and everything.
Yeah, I agree. Dare we hold out hope for Walt being in the finale?
Jacob was immortal, right? So what made him decide he needed to start doing such a huge head-hunting search for his replacement?
Probably because he was tired of doing the job. Or he knew Blackie would eventually find his loophole.
Why is Aaron so important? Why wasn't Kate supposed to raise him?
I'm not sure we'll ever know.
Why isn't Kate a candidate?
Because she became a mother, but she was reinstated after giving up Aaron.
What was the Dharma Initiative really up to on the Island? What was their ultimate goal? Why did the Hanso Foundation regard the Dharma Initiative as a failure?
I think they were trying to learn more about the island's properties. They always said the purpose was to make life better for humanity, so they were probably trying to discover the secret of the healing properties. And we know they discovered the teleportation/time travel elements. How they found out about it in the first place is anyone's guess. I assume Hanso considered it a failure because they never figured it all out, and they all mysteriously died.
It seems like everyone who was a passenger on Oceanic 815 has numerous connections that they don't even know about. Like Jack and Claire being half-siblings, and Sawyer's ex-girlfriend helping Kate confront her mom. What caused this excessive degree of synchronicity?
Fate. Jacob. Who knows, but I like it better unexplained.
What really happens if the Smoke Monster leaves the island?
Everything ceases to be, or so we're told…probably find out in the finale.
In the "flash-sideways" universe, the island is under water. When exactly did this happen?
Ditto.
How/when did Roger Linus and Pierre Chang get off the island before it sank?
I don't think we have to know. Maybe Dharma itself gave up before the island sank, but I think there's a different history in the sideways timeline, and Jughead was never exploded. After all, if 815 didn't crash, Jack and Company can't go back in time and cause the Incident.
Why did Ben and Widmore hate each other quite so much? Why couldn't Ben just shoot Widmore in the face that one time when Ben came into Widmore's bedroom?
Widmore hates Ben because Ben got him kicked off the island. I'm sure Ben just wanted to be the leader, and looked for every reason he could to undermine Widmore. We know Ben couldn't kill him because of the rules…but I'm not sure the rules will ever be fully explained.
Why did Widmore order Keamy's gang to kill everyone on the island except for Ben? Especially since Widmore is so keen for Locke to lead the Oceanic Six back to the island a few years later. And why exactly is Widmore so keen for the Oceanic Six to come back to the island? Because they're Candidates? Or some other reason? If he is keen for there to be Candidates on the island, why did he order Keamy to kill them all?
I don't think Widmore had all the information when he sent the freighter (he said that Jacob came to him right after that and explained things). I think he originally just wanted revenge on Ben, and wanted to exploit the island for his own gain.
After Richard Alpert met Jacob and Jacob explained the island to him, why didn't Richard repeat that explanation to everyone he met?
There's something in those who know the island that they feel like they can't explain it. While most viewers think this is an example of the writers not knowing themselves (and maybe it is), I think it plays into the idea that people CAN'T fully understand it. Like Mother said, every answer leads to more questions. And maybe people can only know bits until they figure it out for themselves (like Jack at the Lighthouse).
How did Richard and the Others decide whom to recruit from among the various people who came to the island after that? What was the deal with all those lists? The lists weren't lists of Candidates, since the Others didn't try to recruit Sawyer or Jack. So what were they?
Jacob probably chose the people (specifically kids, since kids couldn't be born on the island), and gave them to Richard in the form of lists.
Why did the Incident in 1977 leave the island's women unable to give birth? What's with the huge importance placed on fertility on the island, what with the Tawaret statue? Why are so many women separated from their babies?
That's assuming the Incident caused the fertility problem (which I have thought in the past, but now am not sure).
So why was Widmore unable to return to the island? And then why was he able to return to the island after all? Also, why did turning the donkey wheel mean that Ben was unable to return to the island, except with the Oceanic Six?
Probably because he and Ben just couldn't find it. It moves around, and seems to have some protective covering of sorts.
What was the deal with that brand on Juliet's lower back? The cross/asterisk thing?
Considering it's from the most hated episode of Lost (even more hated than the Nikki and Paolo episode), I'm going to assume this won't be addressed.
Where did that supply drop come from? You know, the huge pallet of food and stuff?
Yeah I wanna know too…hope the writers keep their promise. Perhaps it was the place Richard "worked" when off island (like when recruiting Juliet).
Who built that weird Dharma Initiative door that leads to a stone wall? Did the Others put it there as part of their fake village?
Probably, although it's possible Dharma found it.
Was Rousseau "claimed" by the Smoke Monster the same way Claire and Sayid were?
Possibly…she was "crazy," and only seemed to change after Sayid showed her kindness.
What was the Sickness that the Dharma Initiative was vaccinating people against? Is it similar to the Smoke Monster "claiming" people, or something else?
I think so, but I don't think we're going to get any more explanation on that. But who knows, maybe...
When the Smoke Monster told Sayid that he could have Nadia back from the dead, was he referring to the "flash sideways" universe, or something else? Or just lying?
I think just lying. He also promised that to Richard. But, as we've been told, dead is dead.
What was the deal with Pierre Chang having so many wacky pseudonyms?
Yeah, why was that?
What were the Others having Kate and Sawyer build? Was it really going to be a runway? For what?
Um…have you watched the show? It was the runway for the Ajira flight.
So if the hydrogen bomb going off caused the "flash sideways" universe and prevented Oceanic 815 from crashing, how did it change Hurley's lottery numbers, or make Sawyer a cop instead of a con-man?
The whole flash-sideways world is different. Not just from 815 on, but the history is different too.
Is Ji Yeon the "Kwon" who's a candidate?
I doubt it.
Who's the mother of Jack's son David in the "flash-sideways" universe? On a related note, where's alt-Juliet?
I think we’ll find out at the concert in the finale.
What happened to the body of Christian Shephard on the "flash-sideways" Flight 815?
Yeah, what did happen to it?
Come to think of it, what happened to Christian's body on the island?
Hmm.
Sayid was "claimed" by the Smoke Monster, but he still had free will afterward. What did that being "claimed" thing mean anyway?
In my mind, the same thing as being made "an Other." You were changed in some small way that made give allegiance to one side or another.
What does god need with a starship? I mean, why does Locke need an airplane to leave the island?
He didn't.
Why are the Numbers so important? I get that each of the Numbers corresponds to one of the remaining Candidates as of a while ago. But that's just another instance of the Numbers popping up in relation to something. Why these numbers? Why were they powerful long before Jack, Hurley, et al. came to the island?
The numbers are part of the Valenzetti Equation, which was supposed to predict the end of the world. It was one of the many things Dharma was working on.
And come to think of it, what was the point of having someone broadcasting the numbers over the radio over and over again for years?
Don't have a snappy answer for that one. Maybe just because they brought that guy so much strife?
If Jacob is dead, and his ghost is wandering around talking to Hurley, what's with the little kid version of Jacob? Why can only certain people, like Sawyer, see the little-kid Jacob?
I assume because he's a candidate. As to why he has to appear as a kid, who knows...
Who was Juliet inviting to coffee?
My guess is Sideways Sawyer, but I think we'll find out in the finale.
Why can't the Smoke Monster cross a line of ash? What about the sonic fence?
Um. Because…he…can't? Can we just say "mysterious rules" and get away with it?
So the Man In Black can't leave the island. But Jacob was wandering off the island all the time, buying Louis Vuitton luggage, touching the Oceanic Six and various other people, and stocking up on Flannery O'Connor books. At one point, Jacob opened a dance studio in Newark. What gives?
Jacob isn't a smokie. Although how he got off the island is anyone's guess. Maybe it's a protector power.
When Ben took Locke to Jacob's Cabin, there was a weird telekinetic storm and Locke heard a voice saying "Help me." Was that Jacob? Or the M.I.B.? What sort of help did the voice have in mind? More importantly, what's with the dog painting in Jacob's Cabin???
I think it was Blackie, and he knew exactly how to play Locke. As to the dog painting…I don't know…maybe he really likes Vincent? After all, it was Blackie (in Christian's form…well, I assume anyway) who told Vincent to go wake him (Jack) up after the crash
read on:
10 Questions Lost Needs to Answer
(posted May 18th on Jezebel, before "What They Died For")
1.) Charles Widmore
There are so many mysteries surrounding Charles Widmore, and I'm certain that not all of them will be cleared up, but we need something more. Like, how did he and Eloise come to live on the Island? Who is Penny's mother? Why didn't he have anything to do with raising his son, Daniel Faraday?
I'm not sure I need to know exactly how Widmore and Eloise got to the island…probably the same way everyone else did, by "accident," or offered the job by Jacob (like Dogen). I'm also not concerned with Penny's mother, we were told that Widmore left the island and carried out an affair with an off-island woman. Good enough for me, and enough to explain why he and Eloise aren't together (and why he didn't raise Faraday).
2.) Fertility
Lost fans—or at least I—will be livid if the issue of the Island's fertility problem is not addressed by the end of the finale. At some point, either right before or right after the purge of the DHARMA folk, women were able to conceive, but not give birth, on the Island. Or they were able to give birth, but not conceive on the Island. We need to know why!
This might be a little grating, but I can live with it. My guess is it's the downside to the island's healing factor. Or maybe that since it contains The Source, there can't be people to be creating populations there.
3.) The Statue
Connected to the fertility issue is the statue of Taweret, who is the Egyptian goddess of childbirth and fertility. Who built it?
Um. I would guess Egyptians. There have been several obvious hints that Egyptians once inhabited the island, and if childbirth is impossible, I could see primitive people building a large statue to a fertility goddess. Although who knows…Ethan was born on the island, and we assume conceived there…although we don't know for sure.
4.) Infection
According to the dirty Temple hippies, Sayid and Claire are "infected." Rousseau talked about how the science team also got infected. What the hell does that mean, how does it happen, and is this just a red herring?
It may never have been explained fully, but the infection is the "corruption" that happens when you begin to turn to Blackie's side. Sayid and Claire both had it (and were put through The Others' test), and Rousseau's team was infected after heading down under the temple to Blackie's lair. A bigger question…why does Blackie have a lair under a temple he can't enter, and why were there Egyptian carving of him when he wasn't created until long after Egyptian times? Was there perhaps a previous Smokie?
5.) Sideways Universe
How did it come to be? Will it ever converge with the original timeline? What does it all mean!!?!?!?
Through the explosion of Jughead, I'm guessing, and I believe the finale will answer this question.
6.) Island Under Water
In the first few minutes of this season, we saw that, in the sideways universe, the Island is submerged underwater. How did that happen? What happened to the DHARMA people who had been there? What is the significance of its destruction?
Again, I'm sure we'll see this in the finale. My guess is something to do with the hinted-at volcano on the island (the writers hinted that there will be an important explosion in the finale). But maybe Dharma digs too far and accidentally discharges the Source?
7.) Desmond
A relationship with electromagnetic energy probably has something to do with his importance to what is currently happening on the Island, but why does Mocke (Blackie) want him dead? What is Widmore's planning to do with him? Will he ever see Penny again?
Some of this was answered Tuesday…the rest in the finale.
8.) Eloise Hawking
Much like the mysteries surrounding Widmore, we need to know a little bit more about Eloise Hawking. How did she come to live on the Island? When and why did she leave? Why doesn't she have the same last name as her son? Why did she spend so much time in her science sorcery dungeon under the church devising a way for the Losties to return to the Island, but didn't want to go back herself?
Most of this is unimportant, or can be figured out contextually. We don't NEED to know how she came to the island. We know she left before Widmore, and they had a falling out (perhaps due to his affair). She could have a different last name because she remarried. And the Lamp Post was there before Eloise left the island…it was how Dharma found the island in the first place. She probably didn’t go back because she knew it was up to the candidates to do the work (she was always a little more in tune with fate).
9.) Jacob's Army
Jacob had apparently set up an army—Bram, Ilana, etc.—of bodyguards who spent their lives training for whatever war that was going to happen. How did he do this? Why? How did he chose Ilana? What's her deal anyway? Why were none of these army people "candidates"?
Yeah, okay, I agree with this one, but I fear we may not get an answer.
10.) MIB's Name
We know we will get it…in an interview, Hurley said he didn't want to say anything because it's a "cool reveal."
TEN QUESTIONS TO LET GO
1.) Walt
I think we should just give up any hope of knowing why Walt is "special," why he has creepy powers, and how and why he appeared to Shannon and Locke on the Island after he'd already left. That kid pubed too hard and fast for them to ever really include him in any more central story lines.
I really hope they deal with the emphasis on Walt the first three seasons, but I too have a feeling we won't get it.
2.) Vincent
Did he time travel to 2007 after Juliet activated the atomic bomb? I don't know if we'll ever see him again, but I'm thinking that we might just have to think of him as being safe and sound somewhere, at some time.
3.) Rose and Bernard
They were with Vincent, so whatever happened to him, probably happened to them. But honestly, I don't care for them, because they annoy me and I find Rose to be an asshole.
Personally, I think these story lines are done. They retired. I bet they did time travel to 2007, but just stayed out of it. Who knows, maybe they'll become the foundation for the new Others working under Jack.
4.) Desmond & Penny Photo
Why did Naomi have it in her backpack when she parachuted on to the Island? How the hell did she get a copy of it? I think we have to just forget that ever happened.
Um…she was working for Widmore. She probably was given the photo to see if Desmond was indeed on the island.
5.) Ethan
How did he join up with the Others? Was he partially responsible for the Purge of the DHARMA people? How did he become a doctor? We'll probably never know.
I'm not sure it matters.
6.) Karl
Remember him? He was Alex's 16-year-old boyfriend. If there were fertility issues on the Island, where did he come from? He's certainly not one of the DHARMA people, given his age. Oh well.
Why do we need answers about Karl? Did anyone even like him anyway? He probably wound up on the island the same way Alex did.
7.) Food Drops
Who orchestrated the food drops to the Hatch? Did the Others have a helicopter? That one, I'm sure, will remain a mystery forever.
I would like to know this one. The writers did say this will be answered this season. Here's hoping they weren't lying...
8.) Black Rock Journal
How did the journal of the first mate of the Black Rock get off the Island for Widmore to purchase it at an auction many years later.
Hmm. Good question, but yeah, I don't think we'll ever know.
9.) Christian Shepherd
Beyond being a vessel for MIB, what was Christian Shepherd's deal? Why was his body never discovered, when MIB didn't need Locke's original body to take his form?
Ditto. But, then again, explaining where Christian's body is isn't all that important to the show. Maybe it landed in a cave somewhere. Or maybe Blackie hid it so it couldn't be buried, thus trapping him in Christian's body.
10.) Why Them?
Why, specifically, were these people chosen over all others to be candidates? I think we're just going to have to accept that—beyond being "lost" people—they were just chosen by a casting director.
Jacob explained…kinda. It might not be much, but it's probably all we'll get.
50 Questions Lost Really Does Need To Answer -
(posted May 18th, 2010 on io9.com)
So the island is the place with the glowy light that's inside all of us. Does this mean the Island's alive? People talk about what the island "wants." What do they mean? Is the island Eywa?
For those who didn't see Avatar, Eywa is the "earth spirit," like Gaia. I'm not sure we need these explanations…sometimes things are better left open-ended, and I'm not sure they could explain this one away without being really disappointing (plus, it gives Lost nerds something to argue about for years until Lost is remade as a bad movie/TV show). I don't think the island is alive as much as it's a source of life. But, then again, how does it seem to speak to people?
How come the island heals people? Why does it heal them selectively?
Good question. And another pointing to the island having some sort of "life," or at least thought process.
Who was the woman who raised Jacob and the Man In Black, and how did she get there?
I would like to know more, but I'm not sure we'll get it. We can infer she's Egyptian, I suppose, and probably was shipwrecked. Although an Egyptian shipwreck in the Pacific is even less plausible than a Roman one…but hey, I suppose Polynesians must've sailed to Hawaii, and America, in primitive times…
If Jacob was a Roman, why is he so into Egyptian gods?
I think it was people before him
What was with those Egyptian symbols that appeared in the Hatch when the countdown went past 108 minutes? That didn't seem like the Dharma Initiative's style.
True. It was probably just for effect. Seriously, the first time I saw the symbols, I freaked a little.
Jacob told Alpert some previous visitors to the island had built that Taweret statue. Did he tell them to build it? Why Taweret?
Um, fertility goddess. Can’t have babies on the island. Think about it… The only issues I have with that explanation was that Ethan was born on the island…but again, was he conceived there? Maybe Horace and Amy took a trip back to Ann Arbor and got it on? The issue seemed to stem from conception, as Claire conceived off-island and gave birth no problem. I'm personally more interested in whatever happened to Horace's first wife.
Is Jacob bringing people to the island, as the Man In Black suggests? If so, then who was bringing all those people to the island before Jacob did it? Why does Jacob want to bring so many people to the island? What was he trying to prove to the Man In Black?
Most of these questions have been answered. Jacob brought people for two reasons…to prove to Blackie that they weren't all bad (as well as for "progress"), and to find a replacement. As to who did it before Jacob…maybe the island itself. Or maybe anyone who wound up there did it by accident.
Why did Widmore bring Desmond to the island? What's the sacrifice Desmond has to make?
This was posted prior to What They Died For, so this one was answered…for the most part.
Why was Charlie fated to die, exactly? What did Charlie's death accomplish, in the end?
I think Charlie was needed to figure out the code in the communications room on the underwater hatch. He was the only one who could do it, since he was a musician. Once he served his purpose, there was no reason for him to live anymore.
Was that the Smoke Monster telling Ben and Locke to move the island, back in season four? If so, why did Smokey want the island moved? What did moving the island accomplish exactly?
It got Locke off the island where Ben could kill him. Although, since Smokie (as Christian) chided him for letting Ben do it first, I wonder if Ben was always part of the equation. Another reason…to hide it from Widmore, since Widmore had figured out the coordinates. I think Smokie didn't want Widmore coming back because he knew Widmore, as a former Other, would be against him.
Why was Libby in the same mental hospital as Hurley? What's her deal exactly? Why was she in Australia?
Yeah…I don't think we know all we'll ever know about Libby's original timeline breakdown. Let's assume it's something similar to her reasons in the sideways timeline. As to why she was in Australia, does it matter?
Why did the Smoke Monster kill Mr. Eko? Why did the Smoke Monster leave Rousseau alive after killing or "claiming" the rest of her expedition?
Well, the real reason was Mr. Eko wanted off the show. But in the story, I think it was because he refused to "repent" for his misdeeds. I think Smokie saw him as a good choice for killing Jacob, but he refused to join Smokie, so he was no longer necessary. He even said that Smokie was coming for the rest of the people who journeyed out to the Question Mark Hatch, maybe because Smokie wanted all the candidates dead?
Who made the Rules? Like, what's preventing Smokey from killing the Candidates directly?
Yeah, I'd like to know this too. Or at least get a few hints dropped.
What was so special about Walt? No, really. They made a big deal out of it and everything.
Yeah, I agree. Dare we hold out hope for Walt being in the finale?
Jacob was immortal, right? So what made him decide he needed to start doing such a huge head-hunting search for his replacement?
Probably because he was tired of doing the job. Or he knew Blackie would eventually find his loophole.
Why is Aaron so important? Why wasn't Kate supposed to raise him?
I'm not sure we'll ever know.
Why isn't Kate a candidate?
Because she became a mother, but she was reinstated after giving up Aaron.
What was the Dharma Initiative really up to on the Island? What was their ultimate goal? Why did the Hanso Foundation regard the Dharma Initiative as a failure?
I think they were trying to learn more about the island's properties. They always said the purpose was to make life better for humanity, so they were probably trying to discover the secret of the healing properties. And we know they discovered the teleportation/time travel elements. How they found out about it in the first place is anyone's guess. I assume Hanso considered it a failure because they never figured it all out, and they all mysteriously died.
It seems like everyone who was a passenger on Oceanic 815 has numerous connections that they don't even know about. Like Jack and Claire being half-siblings, and Sawyer's ex-girlfriend helping Kate confront her mom. What caused this excessive degree of synchronicity?
Fate. Jacob. Who knows, but I like it better unexplained.
What really happens if the Smoke Monster leaves the island?
Everything ceases to be, or so we're told…probably find out in the finale.
In the "flash-sideways" universe, the island is under water. When exactly did this happen?
Ditto.
How/when did Roger Linus and Pierre Chang get off the island before it sank?
I don't think we have to know. Maybe Dharma itself gave up before the island sank, but I think there's a different history in the sideways timeline, and Jughead was never exploded. After all, if 815 didn't crash, Jack and Company can't go back in time and cause the Incident.
Why did Ben and Widmore hate each other quite so much? Why couldn't Ben just shoot Widmore in the face that one time when Ben came into Widmore's bedroom?
Widmore hates Ben because Ben got him kicked off the island. I'm sure Ben just wanted to be the leader, and looked for every reason he could to undermine Widmore. We know Ben couldn't kill him because of the rules…but I'm not sure the rules will ever be fully explained.
Why did Widmore order Keamy's gang to kill everyone on the island except for Ben? Especially since Widmore is so keen for Locke to lead the Oceanic Six back to the island a few years later. And why exactly is Widmore so keen for the Oceanic Six to come back to the island? Because they're Candidates? Or some other reason? If he is keen for there to be Candidates on the island, why did he order Keamy to kill them all?
I don't think Widmore had all the information when he sent the freighter (he said that Jacob came to him right after that and explained things). I think he originally just wanted revenge on Ben, and wanted to exploit the island for his own gain.
After Richard Alpert met Jacob and Jacob explained the island to him, why didn't Richard repeat that explanation to everyone he met?
There's something in those who know the island that they feel like they can't explain it. While most viewers think this is an example of the writers not knowing themselves (and maybe it is), I think it plays into the idea that people CAN'T fully understand it. Like Mother said, every answer leads to more questions. And maybe people can only know bits until they figure it out for themselves (like Jack at the Lighthouse).
How did Richard and the Others decide whom to recruit from among the various people who came to the island after that? What was the deal with all those lists? The lists weren't lists of Candidates, since the Others didn't try to recruit Sawyer or Jack. So what were they?
Jacob probably chose the people (specifically kids, since kids couldn't be born on the island), and gave them to Richard in the form of lists.
Why did the Incident in 1977 leave the island's women unable to give birth? What's with the huge importance placed on fertility on the island, what with the Tawaret statue? Why are so many women separated from their babies?
That's assuming the Incident caused the fertility problem (which I have thought in the past, but now am not sure).
So why was Widmore unable to return to the island? And then why was he able to return to the island after all? Also, why did turning the donkey wheel mean that Ben was unable to return to the island, except with the Oceanic Six?
Probably because he and Ben just couldn't find it. It moves around, and seems to have some protective covering of sorts.
What was the deal with that brand on Juliet's lower back? The cross/asterisk thing?
Considering it's from the most hated episode of Lost (even more hated than the Nikki and Paolo episode), I'm going to assume this won't be addressed.
Where did that supply drop come from? You know, the huge pallet of food and stuff?
Yeah I wanna know too…hope the writers keep their promise. Perhaps it was the place Richard "worked" when off island (like when recruiting Juliet).
Who built that weird Dharma Initiative door that leads to a stone wall? Did the Others put it there as part of their fake village?
Probably, although it's possible Dharma found it.
Was Rousseau "claimed" by the Smoke Monster the same way Claire and Sayid were?
Possibly…she was "crazy," and only seemed to change after Sayid showed her kindness.
What was the Sickness that the Dharma Initiative was vaccinating people against? Is it similar to the Smoke Monster "claiming" people, or something else?
I think so, but I don't think we're going to get any more explanation on that. But who knows, maybe...
When the Smoke Monster told Sayid that he could have Nadia back from the dead, was he referring to the "flash sideways" universe, or something else? Or just lying?
I think just lying. He also promised that to Richard. But, as we've been told, dead is dead.
What was the deal with Pierre Chang having so many wacky pseudonyms?
Yeah, why was that?
What were the Others having Kate and Sawyer build? Was it really going to be a runway? For what?
Um…have you watched the show? It was the runway for the Ajira flight.
So if the hydrogen bomb going off caused the "flash sideways" universe and prevented Oceanic 815 from crashing, how did it change Hurley's lottery numbers, or make Sawyer a cop instead of a con-man?
The whole flash-sideways world is different. Not just from 815 on, but the history is different too.
Is Ji Yeon the "Kwon" who's a candidate?
I doubt it.
Who's the mother of Jack's son David in the "flash-sideways" universe? On a related note, where's alt-Juliet?
I think we’ll find out at the concert in the finale.
What happened to the body of Christian Shephard on the "flash-sideways" Flight 815?
Yeah, what did happen to it?
Come to think of it, what happened to Christian's body on the island?
Hmm.
Sayid was "claimed" by the Smoke Monster, but he still had free will afterward. What did that being "claimed" thing mean anyway?
In my mind, the same thing as being made "an Other." You were changed in some small way that made give allegiance to one side or another.
What does god need with a starship? I mean, why does Locke need an airplane to leave the island?
He didn't.
Why are the Numbers so important? I get that each of the Numbers corresponds to one of the remaining Candidates as of a while ago. But that's just another instance of the Numbers popping up in relation to something. Why these numbers? Why were they powerful long before Jack, Hurley, et al. came to the island?
The numbers are part of the Valenzetti Equation, which was supposed to predict the end of the world. It was one of the many things Dharma was working on.
And come to think of it, what was the point of having someone broadcasting the numbers over the radio over and over again for years?
Don't have a snappy answer for that one. Maybe just because they brought that guy so much strife?
If Jacob is dead, and his ghost is wandering around talking to Hurley, what's with the little kid version of Jacob? Why can only certain people, like Sawyer, see the little-kid Jacob?
I assume because he's a candidate. As to why he has to appear as a kid, who knows...
Who was Juliet inviting to coffee?
My guess is Sideways Sawyer, but I think we'll find out in the finale.
Why can't the Smoke Monster cross a line of ash? What about the sonic fence?
Um. Because…he…can't? Can we just say "mysterious rules" and get away with it?
So the Man In Black can't leave the island. But Jacob was wandering off the island all the time, buying Louis Vuitton luggage, touching the Oceanic Six and various other people, and stocking up on Flannery O'Connor books. At one point, Jacob opened a dance studio in Newark. What gives?
Jacob isn't a smokie. Although how he got off the island is anyone's guess. Maybe it's a protector power.
When Ben took Locke to Jacob's Cabin, there was a weird telekinetic storm and Locke heard a voice saying "Help me." Was that Jacob? Or the M.I.B.? What sort of help did the voice have in mind? More importantly, what's with the dog painting in Jacob's Cabin???
I think it was Blackie, and he knew exactly how to play Locke. As to the dog painting…I don't know…maybe he really likes Vincent? After all, it was Blackie (in Christian's form…well, I assume anyway) who told Vincent to go wake him (Jack) up after the crash
Monday, May 10, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: fando y lis
**1/2 out of *****
Alejandro Jodorowsky's first film nearly got him killed…literally.
When it premiered at the Alcupulco Film Festival, it's grotesque sexual/religious imagery caused a full-scale riot. As the crowd went after him, Jodorowsky had to sneak out to a waiting limo. The crowd discovered it as it was driving him away and pelted it with rocks. A week later it opened in Mexico City to sold-out crowds…but again, riots ensued. Mexico banned the film and very nearly deported Jodorowsky back to his native Chile.
Amidst all of this nonsense, people also began thinking Jodorowsky was a vampire. Filmmaker Sergio Klainer began spreading the rumor, and it didn't help that the movie has a blood-drinking scene, or that actress Diana Mariscal (Lis) was anorexic, so she was abnormally thin in public appearances. The American release didn't do much better…15 minutes were cut from the film, and it was derided as a rip-off of Fellini or Bunuel. How Jodorowsky went from this to celebrated director of El Topo and The Holy Mountain is almost as amazing as how fast he fell in the mid 70s.
But enough history, how is the actual movie? Unfortunately, not great. Jodorowsky based it on memories of a play he once saw, and the entire script was apparently one page long. Like his later films, it tells the story of a surreal journey…this time Fando and Lis. Fando is an immature, selfish prick with a drum made of his dad's skin (!) and Lis is a paraplegic doormat with a phonograph player. They travel through a desolate, mountainous landscape looking for the lost city of Tar, where apparently all dreams can come true. They come across a motley of surreal, grotesque characters who seem more interested in debauchery than anything.
Then, every twenty minutes or so, Fando decides to mentally and physically abuse Lis, before ditching her to go off on his own (he usually comes crawling back). While it does have the weird, sometimes beautiful, imagery that Jodorowsky would become known for, it seems to be missing the depth of his later work. I liked a few scenes, like when Fando and Lis stumble upon a bunch of people waking up and floundering around in a mud pit. But none of the scenes added up to much of anything. I never got any sort of impression or introspection from what was onscreen.
And it's really hard to spend any time with the annoying main characters. Lis is at least an attractive lady, and loses her top here and there, but Fando is just a complete prick. There are several scenes of Fando doing things like dragging Lis across the stony ground by her dead legs while she screams in pain. It's unpleasant to watch, and the longer it goes, the more it focuses on the cruelty. I guess maybe that's the point, and maybe it's my own fault for not knowing what it's supposed to mean. But it's hard to watch something that seems to be cruel for cruelty's sake.
In the end, it's just a pretentious mess. Stick with his later work.
Alejandro Jodorowsky's first film nearly got him killed…literally.
When it premiered at the Alcupulco Film Festival, it's grotesque sexual/religious imagery caused a full-scale riot. As the crowd went after him, Jodorowsky had to sneak out to a waiting limo. The crowd discovered it as it was driving him away and pelted it with rocks. A week later it opened in Mexico City to sold-out crowds…but again, riots ensued. Mexico banned the film and very nearly deported Jodorowsky back to his native Chile.
Amidst all of this nonsense, people also began thinking Jodorowsky was a vampire. Filmmaker Sergio Klainer began spreading the rumor, and it didn't help that the movie has a blood-drinking scene, or that actress Diana Mariscal (Lis) was anorexic, so she was abnormally thin in public appearances. The American release didn't do much better…15 minutes were cut from the film, and it was derided as a rip-off of Fellini or Bunuel. How Jodorowsky went from this to celebrated director of El Topo and The Holy Mountain is almost as amazing as how fast he fell in the mid 70s.
But enough history, how is the actual movie? Unfortunately, not great. Jodorowsky based it on memories of a play he once saw, and the entire script was apparently one page long. Like his later films, it tells the story of a surreal journey…this time Fando and Lis. Fando is an immature, selfish prick with a drum made of his dad's skin (!) and Lis is a paraplegic doormat with a phonograph player. They travel through a desolate, mountainous landscape looking for the lost city of Tar, where apparently all dreams can come true. They come across a motley of surreal, grotesque characters who seem more interested in debauchery than anything.
Then, every twenty minutes or so, Fando decides to mentally and physically abuse Lis, before ditching her to go off on his own (he usually comes crawling back). While it does have the weird, sometimes beautiful, imagery that Jodorowsky would become known for, it seems to be missing the depth of his later work. I liked a few scenes, like when Fando and Lis stumble upon a bunch of people waking up and floundering around in a mud pit. But none of the scenes added up to much of anything. I never got any sort of impression or introspection from what was onscreen.
And it's really hard to spend any time with the annoying main characters. Lis is at least an attractive lady, and loses her top here and there, but Fando is just a complete prick. There are several scenes of Fando doing things like dragging Lis across the stony ground by her dead legs while she screams in pain. It's unpleasant to watch, and the longer it goes, the more it focuses on the cruelty. I guess maybe that's the point, and maybe it's my own fault for not knowing what it's supposed to mean. But it's hard to watch something that seems to be cruel for cruelty's sake.
In the end, it's just a pretentious mess. Stick with his later work.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: cloudy with a chance of meatballs
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs- **** out of *****
3-D CGI cartoons are pretty much a dime a dozen, and most blow. Studios are busy cranking out the kind of cheap, lackluster children's fare that brought Disney to its knees in the early 2000s. But no one is really learning the lessons of Disney's blah animation section. Rather than focus on original, envelope-pushing entertainment a la Pixar, most studios are perfectly happy cranking out cruddy sequels to mediocre originals. Ooo, more Shrek! Another Ice Age! Hood winked 2? For real? Did anyone actually see Hoodwinked 1? Are we destined for another goddamned Shark Tale now?!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs has a slightly different pedigree. It's based on the bestselling children's book and already has a legion of fans…luckily, Hollywood doesn’t mess it up too bad. Flint Lockwood is an inventor whose inventions cause more harm than good. He's trying to perfect a machine that turns water into food to help his struggling community. But it backfires, destroying the town's new sardine-themed amusement park and causing trouble for low-rent news lady Sam Sparks. But then the machine starts working, pulling moisture from the air and blanketing the town with storms of food. Flint finally receives the recognition he deserves, but as the machine begins to get a mind of its own, he realizes that the respect of his father and Sam means way more than the blind adoration of an entire town.
Well, it's a kid's movie, did you think there wouldn't be a lesson?
In terms of animation, it's near perfect. Sony seems to have figured out what Dreamworks learned with Kung Fu Panda…be as good as Pixar. They also make great use of the 3-D. Now, I didn't actually see this in 3-D, but even in 2-D I could see how much fun it would've been. Especially in the end, where food is flying around willy-nilly.
The story is highly imaginative, making the best out of the plot and even answering some of the questions rattling in my head (like how do they clean up after a hamburger storm?). The voice actors aren't the usual big name stars...there's nothing that pulls you out of an animated movie faster than a lion talking like Jack Bauer. "Mr. President, if we don't escape the zoo NOW, the terrorists will set off the nuclear bomb and unleash the deadly gas! DAMMIT!!" By casting people like Bill Hader and Anna Faris, we get solid voice actors without spending half the movie trying to figure out who they are. I didn't even recognize James Caan as the hilariously-animated father to Flint (I thought it was Ray Winstone). I also didn't recognize Andy Samberg or Bruce Campbell. The one everyone will know is Mr. T as the local tough-guy cop, but it's hard to disagree any time someone casts Mr. T.
But there is one problem with the movie…it tends to go over the top on emotional and action scenes. By the time we get to the end of the movie, we've seen Flint take so much crap from everyone that you wind up thinking, "Christ, does the movie want me to cry AGAIN?" The action scenes, especially the end, suffer from too many complications, and winds up just dragging on forever. I'm sure this is more to show off the 3-D technology, since the end all takes place in a gigantic floating food ball, but it starts to weigh the 2-D version down.
Still, it's not enough to sink the movie…there's enough charm and imagination to get you through the hiccups. The other studios haven't quite figured out how to make animated films like Pixar, but this shows they are trying. For a place as conventional as Hollywood, it gives me hope.
3-D CGI cartoons are pretty much a dime a dozen, and most blow. Studios are busy cranking out the kind of cheap, lackluster children's fare that brought Disney to its knees in the early 2000s. But no one is really learning the lessons of Disney's blah animation section. Rather than focus on original, envelope-pushing entertainment a la Pixar, most studios are perfectly happy cranking out cruddy sequels to mediocre originals. Ooo, more Shrek! Another Ice Age! Hood winked 2? For real? Did anyone actually see Hoodwinked 1? Are we destined for another goddamned Shark Tale now?!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs has a slightly different pedigree. It's based on the bestselling children's book and already has a legion of fans…luckily, Hollywood doesn’t mess it up too bad. Flint Lockwood is an inventor whose inventions cause more harm than good. He's trying to perfect a machine that turns water into food to help his struggling community. But it backfires, destroying the town's new sardine-themed amusement park and causing trouble for low-rent news lady Sam Sparks. But then the machine starts working, pulling moisture from the air and blanketing the town with storms of food. Flint finally receives the recognition he deserves, but as the machine begins to get a mind of its own, he realizes that the respect of his father and Sam means way more than the blind adoration of an entire town.
Well, it's a kid's movie, did you think there wouldn't be a lesson?
In terms of animation, it's near perfect. Sony seems to have figured out what Dreamworks learned with Kung Fu Panda…be as good as Pixar. They also make great use of the 3-D. Now, I didn't actually see this in 3-D, but even in 2-D I could see how much fun it would've been. Especially in the end, where food is flying around willy-nilly.
The story is highly imaginative, making the best out of the plot and even answering some of the questions rattling in my head (like how do they clean up after a hamburger storm?). The voice actors aren't the usual big name stars...there's nothing that pulls you out of an animated movie faster than a lion talking like Jack Bauer. "Mr. President, if we don't escape the zoo NOW, the terrorists will set off the nuclear bomb and unleash the deadly gas! DAMMIT!!" By casting people like Bill Hader and Anna Faris, we get solid voice actors without spending half the movie trying to figure out who they are. I didn't even recognize James Caan as the hilariously-animated father to Flint (I thought it was Ray Winstone). I also didn't recognize Andy Samberg or Bruce Campbell. The one everyone will know is Mr. T as the local tough-guy cop, but it's hard to disagree any time someone casts Mr. T.
But there is one problem with the movie…it tends to go over the top on emotional and action scenes. By the time we get to the end of the movie, we've seen Flint take so much crap from everyone that you wind up thinking, "Christ, does the movie want me to cry AGAIN?" The action scenes, especially the end, suffer from too many complications, and winds up just dragging on forever. I'm sure this is more to show off the 3-D technology, since the end all takes place in a gigantic floating food ball, but it starts to weigh the 2-D version down.
Still, it's not enough to sink the movie…there's enough charm and imagination to get you through the hiccups. The other studios haven't quite figured out how to make animated films like Pixar, but this shows they are trying. For a place as conventional as Hollywood, it gives me hope.
Friday, February 12, 2010
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: a single man
A Single Man- *** out of *****
It's very obvious Tom Ford's day job is as a clothing designer. Halfway through A Single Man, his directing debut, my friend whispered to me, "I feel like this is a long ad for Tom Ford's fashions." In a way yes…but at least everyone looks damn good.
Colin Firth plays George, a dapper, middle-aged gay man who is mourning the loss of his younger lover. Unable to deal with his pain, he decides to kill himself. He makes plans for his eventual demise, and spends what might be his final day preparing for death…but also looking for reasons to stay alive. As the main character, Colin Firth gives what's probably the best performance of his career. Famous for playing stiff Brits, this film allows him to expand more and really dig into his performance.
While George is also a stiff, secretive man (he has to be, as the movie takes place in the 60s), Firth does a brilliant job conveying the emotion roiling behind the mask he has to wear. The movie is also brilliant at detailing the gay culture of the 60s, where all speech is done in code and the protocols are murky at best. There's also a great supporting turn by Julianne Moore, a friend in love with Firth who can't grasp that his homosexuality isn't just a lark.
I wasn't as impressed with Firth's young student, but his role is also pretty thin. There's also beautiful cinematography, although any one who's seen Mad Men might get a case of déjà vu. And I think it goes without saying that the costumes are fantastic.
Unfortunately, Ford's inexperience at filmmaking is all too obvious. The close attention to detail in the technical aspects of the film seem out of balance with the direction and pacing. The film moves in fits and starts, moving from ambiguous scenes (like Firth's encounter with a Spanish hustler), to weird montages of the male physique, to brilliantly handled scenes (Firth and Moore's scene together, or the flashbacks to Firth and Matthew Goode), to scenes that drag on long after they've made their point (most of the conversations with a young, gay student). Ford relies too much on tricks that feel a little too film school. Such as the drab color scheme suddenly growing bright and colorful when Firth sees a sexy man or a dog. Yes, I know, these things brighten his world, but did it have to be SO obvious? And how exactly do children affect him? Because he is trapped in a lifestyle that makes children impossible? That would've been an interesting idea to explore, but we only really see the "downsides" of homosexuality in the sense of the world not accepting him.
We also get themes that are brought up and dropped, like Lee Pace as a paranoid professor or radio shows about the Cuban Missile Crisis. I can see how 50's paranoia could relate to homophobia, but why bring it up if you're not going to deal with it? The camera tends to dwell on clothes, which I suppose isn't surprising, but it does slow the movie down (I will say the slow pans of the suit he wanted to be buried in worked). The long, slow shots of male faces and bodies did start to grate on me though. I'm sure being straight plays a part, but at times it felt like Ford was more interested in lovingly caressing Firth's face or ass than telling a story. The final scenes with a young student come off as just very typical. I see what they're going for, but we've seen it before, and it takes too long to get where we know it's going.
But even that's not quite as annoying as the forced existentialism of the final minutes. It winds up feeling more like a cheat than a natural path. If Ford can tone down his indulgences, I think he can be a great filmmaker. He's got a lot of style, and he draws great performances from his cast. His debut reminds me of another flawed but very well done film from this year…Duncan Jones' Moon. Both are talented people just finding their legs, and I'm excited to see what they do next.
It's very obvious Tom Ford's day job is as a clothing designer. Halfway through A Single Man, his directing debut, my friend whispered to me, "I feel like this is a long ad for Tom Ford's fashions." In a way yes…but at least everyone looks damn good.
Colin Firth plays George, a dapper, middle-aged gay man who is mourning the loss of his younger lover. Unable to deal with his pain, he decides to kill himself. He makes plans for his eventual demise, and spends what might be his final day preparing for death…but also looking for reasons to stay alive. As the main character, Colin Firth gives what's probably the best performance of his career. Famous for playing stiff Brits, this film allows him to expand more and really dig into his performance.
While George is also a stiff, secretive man (he has to be, as the movie takes place in the 60s), Firth does a brilliant job conveying the emotion roiling behind the mask he has to wear. The movie is also brilliant at detailing the gay culture of the 60s, where all speech is done in code and the protocols are murky at best. There's also a great supporting turn by Julianne Moore, a friend in love with Firth who can't grasp that his homosexuality isn't just a lark.
I wasn't as impressed with Firth's young student, but his role is also pretty thin. There's also beautiful cinematography, although any one who's seen Mad Men might get a case of déjà vu. And I think it goes without saying that the costumes are fantastic.
Unfortunately, Ford's inexperience at filmmaking is all too obvious. The close attention to detail in the technical aspects of the film seem out of balance with the direction and pacing. The film moves in fits and starts, moving from ambiguous scenes (like Firth's encounter with a Spanish hustler), to weird montages of the male physique, to brilliantly handled scenes (Firth and Moore's scene together, or the flashbacks to Firth and Matthew Goode), to scenes that drag on long after they've made their point (most of the conversations with a young, gay student). Ford relies too much on tricks that feel a little too film school. Such as the drab color scheme suddenly growing bright and colorful when Firth sees a sexy man or a dog. Yes, I know, these things brighten his world, but did it have to be SO obvious? And how exactly do children affect him? Because he is trapped in a lifestyle that makes children impossible? That would've been an interesting idea to explore, but we only really see the "downsides" of homosexuality in the sense of the world not accepting him.
We also get themes that are brought up and dropped, like Lee Pace as a paranoid professor or radio shows about the Cuban Missile Crisis. I can see how 50's paranoia could relate to homophobia, but why bring it up if you're not going to deal with it? The camera tends to dwell on clothes, which I suppose isn't surprising, but it does slow the movie down (I will say the slow pans of the suit he wanted to be buried in worked). The long, slow shots of male faces and bodies did start to grate on me though. I'm sure being straight plays a part, but at times it felt like Ford was more interested in lovingly caressing Firth's face or ass than telling a story. The final scenes with a young student come off as just very typical. I see what they're going for, but we've seen it before, and it takes too long to get where we know it's going.
But even that's not quite as annoying as the forced existentialism of the final minutes. It winds up feeling more like a cheat than a natural path. If Ford can tone down his indulgences, I think he can be a great filmmaker. He's got a lot of style, and he draws great performances from his cast. His debut reminds me of another flawed but very well done film from this year…Duncan Jones' Moon. Both are talented people just finding their legs, and I'm excited to see what they do next.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: turkish death wish
The Executioner/Cellât (Turkish Death Wish)- *** out of *****
Turkey ain't gonna let a good thing go by, so when Death Wish found a big American audience, Turkey replied with their own version. And like all Turkish remakes, it's about four bucks worth of shit slathered onto a piece of limp toast, and then delivered to you like it's filet mignon.
It's pretty faithful to the original movie, only instead of Kersey and his wife vacationing in Hawaii, here they go camping in the winter. Happy anniversary honey, let's go to the tundra! We're also treated to a "chewing" montage, which is fairly befuddling. Since it's Turkey, the murder/rape scene is even more violent and rapey, this time caused by punks (including the Turkish David Crosby and Turkish Yul Brenner) who are so evil that they steal an old lady's cabbage and wear cool vests. It's basically a re-enactment of the key scenes of the original, only the Reader's Digest Condensed Version.
Each scene has actors just spitting enough exposition to get us to the killings. Turkish Kersey (who looks like a Turkish Burt Reynolds…with a mullet) is much more blood thristy, getting his murder on and suffering none of the psychological effects that Bronson had. Well…kinda had, anyway. He still throws up in the sink after the first murder, but then inexplicably rubs the vomit on his face. I assume he's supposed to be splashing water on it, but that's not what it looks like...
It's also more sexist and racist than the original. Besides the amped up rape, the Turkish Burt Reynolds just ignores his secretary, even when she's talking directly to him. But at least she doesn't get her face bashed into the floor like a girl later in the movie. One scene has a girl walking up to a black bartender and saying, "Give me a vodka, blackie." Since this is the only African-American I've ever seen in a Turkish movie, I have to wonder if he was put there simply to be called racial slurs.
They do switch the rape victim from a daughter to a sister, which is either better or worse depending on your individual perversions. It's not quite as ludicrous as the Turkish superhero extravaganzas, but it has its fair share of nuttiness and misspelled subtitles (like "kitschen" or "roberries" instead of robberies). Lines like "Give me back my cabbage!" or "Let's shoot some bullets…it will relax you!" or "This is not a gun…but a poem" might be the result of crummy translations, but it's all part of the charm. Although, I'm not sure how an exchange like this could ever make any sense:
Racist Girl: Get me a vodka, blackie.
Thug #1: Hi…on the rejected one?
Racist Girl: No, on Pasabahce*
Thug #1: I see you don't greet your hunky bro no more
Racist Girl: Your ticket is not valid on our bus!
Thug #1: And we don't give money to ladies!
Racist Girl: Take your paw off me! I'm not on an amateur's team!
*Pasabahce is apparently a Turkish company that makes glassware. I thought figuring that out would somehow make the conversation coherent…but there you go.
Kinda feels like someone just cut phrases out and pasted them randomly into a screenplay, huh?
The last 15 minutes are the truly Turkish portions…when Turkish Burt Reynolds tracks down Crosby, Brenner, and Thug #1, dispatching them in truly hilarious ways (a catharsis Bronson was denied). Crosby gets electrocuted, a trick they pulled off by apparently taping a bunch of sparklers to his chest. Brenner gets shot in the knees and thrown out a window. Thug #1 gets beaten up, his hands smashed by a brick, and then thrown into a furnace. After witnessing this last murder, the cops just let Turkish Burt Reynolds go.
Okay! Thank you, Turkey, for your wonderful cinema!
Turkey ain't gonna let a good thing go by, so when Death Wish found a big American audience, Turkey replied with their own version. And like all Turkish remakes, it's about four bucks worth of shit slathered onto a piece of limp toast, and then delivered to you like it's filet mignon.
It's pretty faithful to the original movie, only instead of Kersey and his wife vacationing in Hawaii, here they go camping in the winter. Happy anniversary honey, let's go to the tundra! We're also treated to a "chewing" montage, which is fairly befuddling. Since it's Turkey, the murder/rape scene is even more violent and rapey, this time caused by punks (including the Turkish David Crosby and Turkish Yul Brenner) who are so evil that they steal an old lady's cabbage and wear cool vests. It's basically a re-enactment of the key scenes of the original, only the Reader's Digest Condensed Version.
Each scene has actors just spitting enough exposition to get us to the killings. Turkish Kersey (who looks like a Turkish Burt Reynolds…with a mullet) is much more blood thristy, getting his murder on and suffering none of the psychological effects that Bronson had. Well…kinda had, anyway. He still throws up in the sink after the first murder, but then inexplicably rubs the vomit on his face. I assume he's supposed to be splashing water on it, but that's not what it looks like...
It's also more sexist and racist than the original. Besides the amped up rape, the Turkish Burt Reynolds just ignores his secretary, even when she's talking directly to him. But at least she doesn't get her face bashed into the floor like a girl later in the movie. One scene has a girl walking up to a black bartender and saying, "Give me a vodka, blackie." Since this is the only African-American I've ever seen in a Turkish movie, I have to wonder if he was put there simply to be called racial slurs.
They do switch the rape victim from a daughter to a sister, which is either better or worse depending on your individual perversions. It's not quite as ludicrous as the Turkish superhero extravaganzas, but it has its fair share of nuttiness and misspelled subtitles (like "kitschen" or "roberries" instead of robberies). Lines like "Give me back my cabbage!" or "Let's shoot some bullets…it will relax you!" or "This is not a gun…but a poem" might be the result of crummy translations, but it's all part of the charm. Although, I'm not sure how an exchange like this could ever make any sense:
Racist Girl: Get me a vodka, blackie.
Thug #1: Hi…on the rejected one?
Racist Girl: No, on Pasabahce*
Thug #1: I see you don't greet your hunky bro no more
Racist Girl: Your ticket is not valid on our bus!
Thug #1: And we don't give money to ladies!
Racist Girl: Take your paw off me! I'm not on an amateur's team!
*Pasabahce is apparently a Turkish company that makes glassware. I thought figuring that out would somehow make the conversation coherent…but there you go.
Kinda feels like someone just cut phrases out and pasted them randomly into a screenplay, huh?
The last 15 minutes are the truly Turkish portions…when Turkish Burt Reynolds tracks down Crosby, Brenner, and Thug #1, dispatching them in truly hilarious ways (a catharsis Bronson was denied). Crosby gets electrocuted, a trick they pulled off by apparently taping a bunch of sparklers to his chest. Brenner gets shot in the knees and thrown out a window. Thug #1 gets beaten up, his hands smashed by a brick, and then thrown into a furnace. After witnessing this last murder, the cops just let Turkish Burt Reynolds go.
Okay! Thank you, Turkey, for your wonderful cinema!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: antichrist
Antichrist- *** out of *****
Antichrist is the movie that raped Cannes in the face.
Some critics applauded it, most booed and were disgusted by it. It's the latest film by Lars von Trier, who's made a career out of making pretentious, awful films…in my opinion anyway.
Some people love him, but I've disliked every single movie of his I've seen. Antichrist shouldn't be different, but somehow it is. Willam DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg play a couple who are having sex (the second shot of a movie is a peen sliding into a vag…not kidding) while their young son falls out of a window and dies. It's a beautifully shot prologue, all done in black and white and scored to opera music. Then the movie starts in earnest.
DaFoe, a therapist, arrogantly believes he can work Gainsbourg through her grief and gets her to admit being afraid of the woods (yeah…I didn't quite get it either). So he takes her to a secluded cabin called Eden (the first of many Biblical references), and refuses her sex since therapists shouldn't have sex with their patients. Once there, nature turns on them…attacking them physically and mentally, until they turn against each other in progressively brutal (and sexual) ways. The end.
Um. Yeah. There's no real plot, just a lot of haunting images, perversion, symbolism (female as nature/fall of man), and a little gut-wrenching violence for good measure. Gainsbourg at one point drills a hole through DaFoe's leg and bolts a giant weight to it. And that's not the worst thing she does to him…or herself.
Every article out of Cannes made sure to mention one particular scene…I'm not going to ruin it (I will if asked nicely), but if you DO decide to see this movie, prepare yourself once the scissors come out. I hope you really like both DaFoe and Gainsbourg, because you're going to see pretty much every inch of them. The sex is even more graphic than the violence: Gainsbourg has a masturbation scene that's basically porn, and the next "masturbation" scene is even worse...
What does work are the themes and imagery. I like the idea of exploring the male ego through one therapist ignoring his training to treat his own wife. Von Trier is no stranger to misogyny (just watch Breaking the Waves…I can't quite figure out if von Trier is a misogynist, or just obsessed with exploring it), and it's on full display here.
His dips into nature and religion are compelling too. There are several fantasy images, like white figures moving through the woods, or gnarled tree roots with women's arms draped across them (this scene is duplicated in the movie poster, sans DaFoe's ass). The shots are beautiful, but just when you get into it, von Trier finds a way to yank you back out. There are LONG scenes of silly, pretentious dialogue, and laughable things like talking foxes (CHAOS REIGNS!).
By the second half, when the weird brutality kicks in, I began to wonder if von Trier wasn't just fucking with the audience, seeing how far he could push his own indulgence. His deadpan "performance" at Cannes looks that way, declaring himself the greatest director in the world and scoffing at the critics.
Personally, I watched it more as an experimental tone-poem than a movie…a weird cross between Koyanisqaatsi and the Marquis de Sade. I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it. I took the brutality in stride because I didn't believe it…it's too ridiculous to really believe, and seemed more symbolic than anything. But I feel I have to give him credit for going there. I may never watch it again, or I may later decide it's brilliant in its own sick way...but it's given me more to think about than most movies ever do. In a way, that's something…
Antichrist is the movie that raped Cannes in the face.
Some critics applauded it, most booed and were disgusted by it. It's the latest film by Lars von Trier, who's made a career out of making pretentious, awful films…in my opinion anyway.
Some people love him, but I've disliked every single movie of his I've seen. Antichrist shouldn't be different, but somehow it is. Willam DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg play a couple who are having sex (the second shot of a movie is a peen sliding into a vag…not kidding) while their young son falls out of a window and dies. It's a beautifully shot prologue, all done in black and white and scored to opera music. Then the movie starts in earnest.
DaFoe, a therapist, arrogantly believes he can work Gainsbourg through her grief and gets her to admit being afraid of the woods (yeah…I didn't quite get it either). So he takes her to a secluded cabin called Eden (the first of many Biblical references), and refuses her sex since therapists shouldn't have sex with their patients. Once there, nature turns on them…attacking them physically and mentally, until they turn against each other in progressively brutal (and sexual) ways. The end.
Um. Yeah. There's no real plot, just a lot of haunting images, perversion, symbolism (female as nature/fall of man), and a little gut-wrenching violence for good measure. Gainsbourg at one point drills a hole through DaFoe's leg and bolts a giant weight to it. And that's not the worst thing she does to him…or herself.
Every article out of Cannes made sure to mention one particular scene…I'm not going to ruin it (I will if asked nicely), but if you DO decide to see this movie, prepare yourself once the scissors come out. I hope you really like both DaFoe and Gainsbourg, because you're going to see pretty much every inch of them. The sex is even more graphic than the violence: Gainsbourg has a masturbation scene that's basically porn, and the next "masturbation" scene is even worse...
What does work are the themes and imagery. I like the idea of exploring the male ego through one therapist ignoring his training to treat his own wife. Von Trier is no stranger to misogyny (just watch Breaking the Waves…I can't quite figure out if von Trier is a misogynist, or just obsessed with exploring it), and it's on full display here.
His dips into nature and religion are compelling too. There are several fantasy images, like white figures moving through the woods, or gnarled tree roots with women's arms draped across them (this scene is duplicated in the movie poster, sans DaFoe's ass). The shots are beautiful, but just when you get into it, von Trier finds a way to yank you back out. There are LONG scenes of silly, pretentious dialogue, and laughable things like talking foxes (CHAOS REIGNS!).
By the second half, when the weird brutality kicks in, I began to wonder if von Trier wasn't just fucking with the audience, seeing how far he could push his own indulgence. His deadpan "performance" at Cannes looks that way, declaring himself the greatest director in the world and scoffing at the critics.
Personally, I watched it more as an experimental tone-poem than a movie…a weird cross between Koyanisqaatsi and the Marquis de Sade. I didn't like it, but I didn't hate it. I took the brutality in stride because I didn't believe it…it's too ridiculous to really believe, and seemed more symbolic than anything. But I feel I have to give him credit for going there. I may never watch it again, or I may later decide it's brilliant in its own sick way...but it's given me more to think about than most movies ever do. In a way, that's something…
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
movie review by brandon, the movie nerd: brüno
Bruno- **** out of five
This is very important: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT eat popcorn during the focus group scene in Bruno. You WILL laugh-spray it all over the head of the person in front of you. This warning also goes for Coke, the 40 you snuck in, and various candies like the Sno-Caps that have been sitting under the glass countertop since 1983.
I have not laughed harder at a movie this year, and I saw The Hangover. There were points in this movie that I was doubled over, choking, sucking in air while trying not to make wet, snorty noises. What Sacha Baron Cohen has done defies all laws of good taste. Did you think Borat was bad? Well this movie's going to buttf**k your mind while wearing bright yellow daisy dukes and a strap-on the size of Quebec. There were things in this movie I NEVER thought I would see in a theater under an R rating. The original cut was apparently NC-17, and it terrifies me to think what was cut out because I spent most of the movie wondering how it wasn't rated X.
Bruno is a gay Austrian fashion show host who's just as air-headed and shallow as the people he interviews. Cohen created him (along with Borat) for Da Ali G Show, which had Cohen playing complete morons in order to poke fun at people's own prejudices. After destroying a fashion show by wearing an all-Velcro suit, Bruno follows the Borat formula of coming to America and basically wreaking havoc on everyone and everything. Bruno is determined to do what ever it takes to become a "celebrity." He's the biggest, gayest, most Austrian thing to hit America since Hitler, and America is NOT READY IN ANY WAY.
What stands out, at least upon a first viewing, are the major scenes. Like Borat's naked fight through the hotel, there are some Bruno set pieces that start hilarious and just will NOT let up. But there's great little one-liners too...talking about people putting things in his "Auschwitz" and screwing around with celebrity names like Bradof Pittler. Most of these are simply done to make people uncomfortable, to see if they call him out or they just accept it. Like when he wants to make out with the dead lover a Hollywood psychic is channeling, or when he takes his new African baby on the Richard Bey Show and tries to tell the all-black audience the proper use of the term "African-American." Sometimes he's just pushing buttons, and it does go too far…the scene with the hunter at night borders on harassment.
But Cohen is also never afraid to make himself look bad, or put himself in harm's way. Seriously, you want to talk balls? Bruno scores an interview with the head of the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, a terrorist organization (although the guy now says he's NOT part of it…as if he WANTS to go to Guantanamo?), and tells him Osama bin Laden looks like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa Claus. And the climax at the UFC Fighting Championship is so funny/terrifying that I was covering my eyes and fearing for the future of America.
Like Borat, I'm not sure this is a "good" movie. It's basically a collection of utterly ridiculous crap connected by the tiniest of threads. And it's not always consistently funny, but the focus group was worth the admission price alone. While Borat, hilarious as it was, wore me down by the end, this one keeps the energy high and doesn’t wear out its welcome.
This is not for the squeamish, or anyone who can't take copious naked man parts (or talking penises). But the rest of you WILL shit your pants with laughter, and I guarantee it won't be the grossest thing in the theater.
This is very important: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT eat popcorn during the focus group scene in Bruno. You WILL laugh-spray it all over the head of the person in front of you. This warning also goes for Coke, the 40 you snuck in, and various candies like the Sno-Caps that have been sitting under the glass countertop since 1983.
I have not laughed harder at a movie this year, and I saw The Hangover. There were points in this movie that I was doubled over, choking, sucking in air while trying not to make wet, snorty noises. What Sacha Baron Cohen has done defies all laws of good taste. Did you think Borat was bad? Well this movie's going to buttf**k your mind while wearing bright yellow daisy dukes and a strap-on the size of Quebec. There were things in this movie I NEVER thought I would see in a theater under an R rating. The original cut was apparently NC-17, and it terrifies me to think what was cut out because I spent most of the movie wondering how it wasn't rated X.
Bruno is a gay Austrian fashion show host who's just as air-headed and shallow as the people he interviews. Cohen created him (along with Borat) for Da Ali G Show, which had Cohen playing complete morons in order to poke fun at people's own prejudices. After destroying a fashion show by wearing an all-Velcro suit, Bruno follows the Borat formula of coming to America and basically wreaking havoc on everyone and everything. Bruno is determined to do what ever it takes to become a "celebrity." He's the biggest, gayest, most Austrian thing to hit America since Hitler, and America is NOT READY IN ANY WAY.
What stands out, at least upon a first viewing, are the major scenes. Like Borat's naked fight through the hotel, there are some Bruno set pieces that start hilarious and just will NOT let up. But there's great little one-liners too...talking about people putting things in his "Auschwitz" and screwing around with celebrity names like Bradof Pittler. Most of these are simply done to make people uncomfortable, to see if they call him out or they just accept it. Like when he wants to make out with the dead lover a Hollywood psychic is channeling, or when he takes his new African baby on the Richard Bey Show and tries to tell the all-black audience the proper use of the term "African-American." Sometimes he's just pushing buttons, and it does go too far…the scene with the hunter at night borders on harassment.
But Cohen is also never afraid to make himself look bad, or put himself in harm's way. Seriously, you want to talk balls? Bruno scores an interview with the head of the al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade, a terrorist organization (although the guy now says he's NOT part of it…as if he WANTS to go to Guantanamo?), and tells him Osama bin Laden looks like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa Claus. And the climax at the UFC Fighting Championship is so funny/terrifying that I was covering my eyes and fearing for the future of America.
Like Borat, I'm not sure this is a "good" movie. It's basically a collection of utterly ridiculous crap connected by the tiniest of threads. And it's not always consistently funny, but the focus group was worth the admission price alone. While Borat, hilarious as it was, wore me down by the end, this one keeps the energy high and doesn’t wear out its welcome.
This is not for the squeamish, or anyone who can't take copious naked man parts (or talking penises). But the rest of you WILL shit your pants with laughter, and I guarantee it won't be the grossest thing in the theater.
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